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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Find a salvation army, goodwill, etc. that is easy to get to (near work, near the dry cleaner, whatever) and make it a regular part of your routine.  Honestly, it's a good habit to have anyway with youn kids--donating regularly keeps toys/clothes/books/kid gear moving out of the house rather than just in.  Accept what you can reasonably drop off in one visit to a donation center, refuse what you can't, and let her deal with it.[/quote]

Thanks... but this sort of makes me want to cry, because it adds a visit to goodwill to every trip to MIL's (or visit from MIL). That is time I don't have.

I realize that our time and space problems are a separate issue that isn't my MIL's fault, but they provide an important context for why this stuff is affecting me and my life more than it otherwise would.  Accepting stuff that we have to process takes headspace and energy.  If it ends up taking net less head energy to placate my MIL and just give everything to goodwill, that's fine as long as giving it away isn't going to offend her - which I'm not sure whether it will.

The weight of the responses seems to be that MIL's need to give us stuff trumps my need to stop the influx.  That's fine and I will try to deal with it, but it also leads to a situation where I absolutely dread being around MIL.  Doesn't anyone just communicate anymore?

[/quote]

OP, I am the quoted poster and I get it.  But my suggestion is to make an every-so often visit to goodwill part of the routine is partly because it sounds like you need to start doing that regardless of MIL.  If the clutter is this overwhelming, then you need to ditch some stuff.  Now that said, since this is largely a husband issue, I would have a clear chat.  "We will be keeping zero things from your mother." [b]Make it his choice whether he wishes to state this clearly to his mom or whether he wants to take 100% responsibility for disposing of anything he chooses to accept.[/b]  But you draw the hard line that tou refuse to spend a single second more on trying to figure where to put things or fightig about what to keep vs. Pitch or finding a way to get rid of it.  It is now his job and you will not accept it in the house.[/quote]

I like this suggestion a lot in theory... I fear he wouldn't follow through on it and then that would just redirect more of my negative feelings toward DH, but I like the concept and we may be able to figure out something along these lines.[/quote]

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