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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So depressing.  My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine."  No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options.  Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.  [/quote]

I wouldn't listen to him and look at the options for her.  I'm sorry you are going through that.[/quote]

Well....maybe she'd rather stay in her home, even if it means dying because of a fall, rather than live longer but in a nursing home.[/quote]

Well...one of the options that I have asked him to discuss with her is whether she would think about selling her place and moving in with us.  We could hire some in home care as needed and I would be preparing her meals so we would know that she was eating.  I have also asked him to discuss an ALF with her which is not a nursing home.  My fear is that he continues to insist everything is fine, when it isn't, and she hurts herself because she is alone and we skip over 2 much more pleasant options to care for her than a nursing home.

I will refrain from inserting the eyeroll emoticon...barely.[/quote]

I would hire someone to go in her house a few hours a day or even every few days.  Bring her for an extended visit before you commit to moving her in long-term.  We did this with my MIL and I ended up doing everything and with young kids it was a nightmare.  My MIL will not admit it but we think she's actually happier at the nursing home begin around other people as she was very difficult when she lived with us (refusing to go out of the house, bathing, etc).  We love she is living elsewhere and we just manage her needs, care and visit.  I didn't think it would be as hard as it was but with the personality changes and loss of old home/friends, it was hard to say the least.[/quote]

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