Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 15:14     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So depressing. My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine." No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options. Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.


I wouldn't listen to him and look at the options for her. I'm sorry you are going through that.


Well....maybe she'd rather stay in her home, even if it means dying because of a fall, rather than live longer but in a nursing home.


Well...one of the options that I have asked him to discuss with her is whether she would think about selling her place and moving in with us. We could hire some in home care as needed and I would be preparing her meals so we would know that she was eating. I have also asked him to discuss an ALF with her which is not a nursing home. My fear is that he continues to insist everything is fine, when it isn't, and she hurts herself because she is alone and we skip over 2 much more pleasant options to care for her than a nursing home.

I will refrain from inserting the eyeroll emoticon...barely.


I would hire someone to go in her house a few hours a day or even every few days. Bring her for an extended visit before you commit to moving her in long-term. We did this with my MIL and I ended up doing everything and with young kids it was a nightmare. My MIL will not admit it but we think she's actually happier at the nursing home begin around other people as she was very difficult when she lived with us (refusing to go out of the house, bathing, etc). We love she is living elsewhere and we just manage her needs, care and visit. I didn't think it would be as hard as it was but with the personality changes and loss of old home/friends, it was hard to say the least.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 14:08     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So depressing. My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine." No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options. Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.


I wouldn't listen to him and look at the options for her. I'm sorry you are going through that.


Well....maybe she'd rather stay in her home, even if it means dying because of a fall, rather than live longer but in a nursing home.


Well...one of the options that I have asked him to discuss with her is whether she would think about selling her place and moving in with us. We could hire some in home care as needed and I would be preparing her meals so we would know that she was eating. I have also asked him to discuss an ALF with her which is not a nursing home. My fear is that he continues to insist everything is fine, when it isn't, and she hurts herself because she is alone and we skip over 2 much more pleasant options to care for her than a nursing home.

I will refrain from inserting the eyeroll emoticon...barely.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 09:41     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?


Ballpark $5k-10k per month depending on services needed. Quite a bit can happen in 5 years, though.


I agree. We went through this with FIL. It's cheaper to hire a company to provide in-home care 24/7.


It is cheaper... but not cheap. We paid $24/hour for in-home care, and if they needed it 8 hours a day for a month that would be $3,840.

Incidentally, to the OP, look at buying long-term care insurance NOW. The premiums won't be cheap, but they will be a bargain compared to $300/day at Sunrise. Such insurance can also pay for in-home care if that's the way you decide to go.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 09:28     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).


What's the definition of retired officer? My dad was an officer but only served for three years. Does that count?


Officer vs. Enlisted. Your dad will not qualify either as it is only for retirees and their families. Retiree=20 years of service or more.

https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood/Living-At-Knollwood/Eligibility



Forgot to say, there are VA benefits to help pay for nursing homes and VA nursing homes. Look into those. When many nursing homes ask about money/payment they will ask about VA. Your dad should be a veteran and eligible for VA benefits.


Sorry, quoted the wrong section. There are income and asset limits on the veteran benefits.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 09:25     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).


What's the definition of retired officer? My dad was an officer but only served for three years. Does that count?


Officer vs. Enlisted. Your dad will not qualify either as it is only for retirees and their families. Retiree=20 years of service or more.

https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood/Living-At-Knollwood/Eligibility



Yes, but there are pretty low asset limits to qualify

Forgot to say, there are VA benefits to help pay for nursing homes and VA nursing homes. Look into those. When many nursing homes ask about money/payment they will ask about VA. Your dad should be a veteran and eligible for VA benefits.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 01:37     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).


What's the definition of retired officer? My dad was an officer but only served for three years. Does that count?


Officer vs. Enlisted. Your dad will not qualify either as it is only for retirees and their families. Retiree=20 years of service or more.

https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood/Living-At-Knollwood/Eligibility



Forgot to say, there are VA benefits to help pay for nursing homes and VA nursing homes. Look into those. When many nursing homes ask about money/payment they will ask about VA. Your dad should be a veteran and eligible for VA benefits.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2014 01:36     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).


What's the definition of retired officer? My dad was an officer but only served for three years. Does that count?


Officer vs. Enlisted. Your dad will not qualify either as it is only for retirees and their families. Retiree=20 years of service or more.

https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood/Living-At-Knollwood/Eligibility

Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 23:39     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So depressing. My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine." No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options. Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.


I wouldn't listen to him and look at the options for her. I'm sorry you are going through that.


Well....maybe she'd rather stay in her home, even if it means dying because of a fall, rather than live longer but in a nursing home.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 23:38     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).


What's the definition of retired officer? My dad was an officer but only served for three years. Does that count?
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 23:04     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:My dad lives in South Florida and in my search for assistance I discovered that there were are a good number of small, privately run ALFs (six or so beds) that are basically single family homes that have been renovated to meet state regulations. Folks who need ongoing medical care have to pay to bring in nurses, doctors, etc. They basically provide room and board, assistance with bathing, dressing, etc. But they seem to be a more affordable option - the ones I visited ran about about $3,000-$5,000 a month. Is that type of setup available in other states?


Tons of them in Maryland. If you cannot private pay, they only accept the medicaid waiver (just talked to a few).
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 22:46     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
My dad lives in South Florida and in my search for assistance I discovered that there were are a good number of small, privately run ALFs (six or so beds) that are basically single family homes that have been renovated to meet state regulations. Folks who need ongoing medical care have to pay to bring in nurses, doctors, etc. They basically provide room and board, assistance with bathing, dressing, etc. But they seem to be a more affordable option - the ones I visited ran about about $3,000-$5,000 a month. Is that type of setup available in other states?
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 22:22     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sunrise is $300/day, but I heard some directors can work with families to put two people in 1 place.


You realize that is over $100,000 a year.


My mother started out at Sunrise, in a studio/room that cost about $4500/month. As her need for help increased, so did the bill, until she was paying over $6500/month for the room plus various "a la carte" services. We had a few terrible incidents of neglect there which caused us to move her to a smaller, memory-care-specific assisted living community. There, she paid a flat monthly fee that covered everything she needed - $7950/month.

Thank goodness she saved diligently during her working life.


What's really hard about this is that the lady in the next bed qualifies for Medicaid and isn't paying anything for the same service.


Its often not the same service. Many nursing homes have special medicaid wings and the care and space are very different.


What you are saying is generally illegal in ALFs, although the regs can vary by state.


I don't know if the regs are different for ALFs vs. nursing homes but several nursing homes we visited, it was very clear that here were separate wings, services were different and they only took medicaid when they could not fill their beds. It took me six months to find a medicaid bed and that was trying for hours a day for several days a week of just calling and calling different facilities. The ALF's were more willing when they thought we had the medicaid waiver but we didn't have that so it wasn't an option for us. Lots of things are illegal... does't mean they aren't done.


The regs for assisted living/ALFs are very different than skilled nursing/SNFs/nursing homes. The latter are federally regulated. T he former are state regulated, even the Medicaid beds (via state funding sources which are federally backed so it gets gray)... Although enforcement of state regs vary based on resources... By that I mean a broke state like Michigan, while they have tight regs, can only afford so many regulators(surveyors) and therefore do surveys on a much longer timeframe. States with more money, or more money dedicated to this stuff, like Maryland, can afford more enforcement agents. I agree just because it's illegal doesn't always mean it's not done, but that applies to all things not just Medicaid waiver beds.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 20:46     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:So depressing. My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine." No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options. Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.


I wouldn't listen to him and look at the options for her. I'm sorry you are going through that.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 20:24     Subject: Re:cost of assisted living facility
So depressing. My husband came home and told me that the OT told his mother that she can't drive for several weeks after falling a bunch of times, but "everything is fine." No we don't need to make any plans or discuss any options. Apparently his failing 85+ year old mother who can't hear, can't remember shit, and falls over periodically is just fine and can take care of herself.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2014 20:17     Subject: cost of assisted living facility
Anonymous wrote:Another option that we've used for my grandmother is Knollwood in NW DC. You have to be a military family, though -- specifically the person who is going there has to be a retired career military officer, or the spouse, divorcee, parent, parent-in-law, child or sibling of one. If you are lucky enough to fit that description, it's a gorgeous and amazing place with subsidized rates and fantastic care. https://armydistaff.org/Knollwood


That looks to be officers, not enlisted. I would be curious about their subsidy. Either through the VA or military (I think it is the VA), there are nursing home subsidies but they are only for the military member and their spouse (one place told us to register somewhere to be eligible but we'll worry about it when we need to).