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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Do you want him to stop stealing because he knows it's wrong, or because he doesn't want you to spank him again? [/b]

Now he just knows that you won't spank him if he doesn't get caught. [/quote]

I don't approve of spanking, but seriously, who cares? We punish our kids so they won't do the thing again. Or are you are saying we all should just discuss issues with our kids and not punish at all? I thought "consequences" was all the rage.[/quote]

You do both...punish and discuss.  You can discuss it till you are blue in the face. Without consequences, kids won't really learn.[/quote]

Consequences are one thing, but physically punishing a child you can speak to and reason with is absolutely wrong.

Meanwhile, I have 2 kids and have NEVER had to "punish" them.   Yes, discussing the issues with them is exactly what we do, because what I am telling them to do is not whimsical.  I do not require unquestioning obedience, but I want my children to be a part of the family and to care about other people.

If a child of mine stole $60 from my purse, his "consequence" would be a great deal of time spent with his family.   If that meant loss of internet time, so be it.   HE would have to sit with me and help me budget so he could learn the value of money.   He would have to earn the money he stole back.   I would take him grocery shopping with me, and would give him $100 to buy the family's groceries for 2 weeks, so he would really see that money = food for the family.   Spanking him teaches him none of this.[/quote]

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