Reply to Wife doesn't like my work hours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, for one thing, you should keep a joint calendar so she knows a little in advance what you have going on.  She shouldn't have to ask the day before what's on your plate--that's a failure on your part.  You need to be proactive with sharing details, marking nights as unavailable for work occasionally if she wants something on her evening calendar, etc.[/quote]

DH and I keep a joint calendar so he knows what nights I am unavailable and I know what nights he is unavailable. It also comes in handy for the many school events that take place (and why do they all start at 6:15 pm?!?) for our two kids.[/quote]

This.  She shouldn't have to ask.  When you schedule something at night, it should be put on her calendar immediately.  We do it by inviting each other to the meeting on outlook.  That way it is on both of our schedules, as the absence of one of us does make a big difference.[/quote]

Probably other stuff too, but definitely agree with these posters.  I know personally for me it's not usually the absolute hours but the inability to plan around my spouse's schedule *because I don't know it* that drive me bonkers - I think it can be easy to assume your spouse knows your plans when they don't.  I know my husband often feels I'm bugging him about when he's getting home, and probably thinks I'm riding him about his hours, when the biggest part for me isn't the time itself, but just knowing in advance when it will be, if we should factor him in for dinner, etc.  I also really appreciate it when he includes me in scheduling decisions to the extent possible.  So things like 'I've got a lot of work this week and need to pull 2 late nights - are there days that would work best for you?' go a long way for me.
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