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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My traditional Asian upbringing is coming out, but there's nothing wrong with telegraphing to a child that they're not "good enough." It helps them up their game. It obviously doesn't make them more intelligent, but it makes them work that much harder until they get the top grades, awards etc. Asian countries are built on this model. Before you say that those parents don't love their kids -- the view is that it's a tough world out there, if we demand their best and toughen them up, nothing that they face after this will be hard for them.[/quote]

I could not disagree more. In an Asian culture, perhaps this works, but here in the US, it's a terrible way to raise a child. Children should be taught to do their best, but to tell them that their best isn't good enough, well, go to it if it works for your kid, PP, but I think it's a recipe for an unhappy childhood.

OP said nothing about effort, she talked about her disappointment in her child's lack of ability in academics and athletics.

[/quote]

If you tell them their best is good enough, they'll be content to stay there -- who wants to work harder than they have to. If you tell them there's room for improvement, they'll work to improve. I believe the OP is talking about her kid's drive. It's not like all Asian kids are SO intelligent -- it's that they are driven, competitive and will work to be the best. Sorry but that just won't happen if you keep saying -- Johnny's doing his best, love him for who he is. OP hasn't said that there are any learning disabilities or any other reasons to tread lightly, so why not push a little bit to see how he responds? He's 12 not 2, he won't break. Some kids do respond great when that competitive fire is lit within them -- again, impossible if you keep giving him A's for effort.[/quote]

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