Reply to Just had horrible screaming match with MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]People are not usually "disrespectful" without reason.  All of you who are complaining about your "disrespectful" in-laws need to examine your own behavior to see how you are contributing to the disfunction…and no I am not a MIL.  I am simply an older mother than most on this board and and have watched this play out too often in my own family and with those of my friends.  It is usually about power trips or marrying into a family with different expectations, rituals, etc. and then expecting everyone to bow down to your rules without compromise.  The spouse is invariably caught in the middle and it because an "if you loved me you would…" which is childish and manipulative.  Sometimes you are simply wrong or have unreasonable expectations.  Sometimes in-laws are wrong and have unreasonable expectations.  In any event, mature adults do do not try to control everything, they do not put their spouse in the middle (i.e., they address their own issues) and they do not get into screaming matches.  If you do, you are not modeling mature adult behavior for your children and you are the one damaging your family.[/quote]

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