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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you will not get any support here. DCUM is clearly full of incredibly mature people who would never, ever,ever yell at anyone. Ever. Didn't you know that yelling makes you a Neanderthal? You have lost your white, upper middle class street cred by yelling.  You've outed yourself as low class.

Seriously though, I suggest counseling for you and your DH on how to handle family issues. He needs to support the one he married, the one who he pledged to forsake all others for, including his mommy. If you've been taking this woman's shit for ten years, your husband has probably been feeding you lines to shut you up and make you take it. Does he ever says things like, "that's just how she is" and "be the bigger person" or "she's older, so she deserves respect"?

If so, time to to tell him that now, this is how you are. You aren't going to take shit any more. She can become the bigger person or she isn't in your lives. If she  cant respect the mama, no relationship with the kids the mama pushed out (or adopted, etc).

And counseling,counseling counseling!!!!! With someone who is not going to be all kumbaya, turn the other cheek. Find someone who specializes in difficult family stuff. [/quote]

Totally agree.  I was in a similar situation except we almost didn't get married because of it.  It was 2 months prior to the wedding and I was ready to call it off.  I'd already figured out how to get most of the deposit money back.  We went to counseling and after some intense sessions, DH realized his expectations were out of line and his parents were out of bounds.  They both died within the first 12 years of our marriage.  They weren't always easy but at least DH and I were always on the same page (and continued counseling helped when we hit a rough patch).  Yes, you were wrong for yelling and losing your temper and should consider (by not necessarily) apologize.  But now is the time to set some boundaries and expectations.  Good luck.[/quote]

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