Reply to How would you feel if your spouse spent thousands on your birthday gift?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes another 1st world problem.

DH spent several thousand on a birthday gift for me. While the gift is lovely, there are many things much cheaper that I would have liked just as much (or more) frankly. We've been working hard to increase retirement savings, savings for a trip to that we want to take, and savings for our (eventual) "upgrade" house that would accommodate our growing family.

I can't help but feel frustrated (and admittedly) angry that he did this. Mostly because the jewelry cannot be simply taken back (ie local return), but we must spend several hundred in restocking fees and insured shipping to send it back. So at the end of the day, I feel guilty for keeping the gift as it keeps our family from achieving our mutually decided upon financial goals. I feel angry that sending it back involves several errands/chores for me (3 to be exact). And I feel overwhelmingly frustrated that he didn't ask me but made a unilateral decision to spend a lot of the family's money on this. If he had just asked me, we could have found something MUCH less expensive that would have been just as nice. I get that birthday presents are supposed to be a surprise, but this seems like a ridiculous price to pay for the surprise factor.

FWIW, [b]DH out earns me significantly[/b]. [b]We live comfortably with zero debt[/b] and [b]it's not like he charged it to a credit card[/b]. However we have a ways to go to be able to provide [b]the lifestyle we want[/b] for our children and ourselves. We have always prioritized saving first, buying on sale/used, making big purchases ($200+) a family decision, etc. So [b]this was very out of character,[/b] but I know his heart was in a good place.[/quote]

I didn't read through the whole thread. 
I don't know how many thousand "several" is. Or how it impacts your budget. 
But clearly you/he can afford it due to bolded above: He outlearns, you have 0 debt, live in comfort, and it wasn't charged. You save first and make joint decisions. All super duper.

So to your question - how would you feel?
I would feel thankful. There are many who have worse concerns. 
There is a wise motto started by called YOLO. You only live once. Stop living in fear. You could die tomorrow then where would your goals go.
Not saying be irresponsible but you're on the right track in your household goals and this doesn't seem to prevent it, just maybe delay it a bit. So what?
Accept the gift, pass it to your children one day, and show the man some love.
You may want him to do things like the once you reach those goals you have. 
Don't mess it up for yourself.[/quote]

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