Reply to Is it ever reasonable for a woman to want to conceive a child with a married man?

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Reply to "Is it ever reasonable for a woman to want to conceive a child with a married man?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks. The woman is not pregnant, but they are trying to conceive, with the expectation that the divorce will take less than 9 months to be final.  I did start a thread about her recently, in which I talked about the weird arrangement he and his wife are planning -- the kids will stay with the wife, and he will visit a couple of times a month -- and, even thought it wasn't her idea or her decision, the woman is happy about this plan because she doesn't want to be a step mother.  Most (not all) posters agreed with my impression that it was a bizarre plan.

I care about her situation because I had named her as a guardian for my kids should something happen to me and my DH.  When I mentioned that in the previous thread, most posters suggested that I consider a new guardian.  We have really struggled with this issue because, despite appearances, she has always been an absolutely wonderful aunt to my kids, and a great person overall (at least prior to this affair) but this affair has revealed a side of her that I never expected to witness.   We had decided to wait before changing guardians, as there is no clear alternative.  But I just found out about their plan to actively try to conceive a baby before the divorce is final, and I am again troubled by her decision making process.  It's as if she is different person when it comes to this affair.  I am trying to think that, given her inexperience with matters of the heart, she is just being a temporary fool, and that she will at some point wake up.  But perhaps I am being too optimistic and a charitable explanation to her behavior might be too unrealistic.[/quote]

OP, your post is scary. you seem almost more concerned of your family member than your own kids. stop worrying about her. what she is doing is clearly a bad idea, on some many levels, as you and other posters have pointed out. but you have already talked to her, she does not listen, she is an adult and at the end responsible for her life.  what it is scary is that you and your DH can have a car accident tomorrow (sorry for being blunt, but this is the reality), and next week your kids are shipped to this person's home, who does not want to be a step mother and is actively trying to get pregnant by a married buy still living with his wife, guy who is supposed to move in with her in less than a year. being a loving aunt and really very, very different than being a full time parent and your relative does not strike me like a person able to be a good, full time parent to your kids. she is likely going into a messy situation, do you want your kids there too? you can still love her without having her as your kids' guardian. think about your kids, and do it fast because you never know[/quote]

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