Reply to Straight A's but only if I yell

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  Some of you paint wonderful pictures of motivation "just happening", as if everyone has the same kid as 6:29's DD. Then there's the Tiger Mom approach of punishing for bad grades. Yet another poster is worried about "whether my child will like me", which is actually one of the scarier things being said here, IMO.  None of this seems very realistic or likely to work with all or even most kids.

For some kids, motivation doesn't just happen. For these kids, the parents do need to set expectations and they do need to enforce these expectations.

Punishment (taking away stuff) is not effective, most experts say (Kazdin, others). So to that extent I agree with some of you. But for some kids, parents absolutely do need to provide a framework, in the form of rewards/incentives (earning privileges) and structure (after dinner the electronics go away, you study at a desk or table and not on your back in your bed) and study skills (previewing the chapter, mnemonics, etc.).

For the kids who aren't clones of 6:29's DD (or of my own DD, now at a top Ivy), if you wait for this stuff to happen, it may not happen in time for college. Even if your kid makes it through college, you've lost your best opportunity, while your kid is still home, to teach these important work habits. [/quote]

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