Reply to The Ex is crazy and is driving us completely apart!

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow.  What an awful position to be in - especially have having such high hopes.  I'm really sorry, OP.  Looking at this situation without your prism of emotion, I see a number of red flags that indicate you need to back off from this relationship.  I'm sure you love this guy and this is hard but, as I've told my own DH, love isn't enough.  You have to be pragmatic.

1.  Your BF has significant unfinished business with his ex.  I don't see anything from your post that indicates she's actually crazy or unreasonable.  
2.  That your BF didn't tell his ex you two were moving in together is a major red flag.  There is no excuse for that and it was unfair to his ex and to you. I'm sure the DCUM community could write a thesis on why this was a bad move.
3.  Your BF is emotionally immature and not capable of resolving this situation on his own.  His ex must be part of it - even if she weren't pregnant.
4.  Your BF has already shown he doesn't have good judgment and does not communicate appropriately at any level.
5.  Your BF hasn't worked out his relationship with his ex and until he does, you really can't expect him to be a full partner in a relationship with you. This was even before you learned she was pregnant.
6.  The ex's pregnancy is a dealbreaker. It just complicates things exponentially. Even if she's not pregnant, your BF has a lot to come to terms with.

You can't solve any of the issues your BF has.  He's got to work them out and he needs space to do so.  Continuing to live with him won't give him the clarity he needs to determine what he wants.  You can't make up his mind for him.  He needs to choose.  You need to protect yourself and your DD.  As much as it hurts, you need to live separately.[/quote]

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