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[quote=Anonymous]My answers would be the same as the other posters.  I think the difference with your situation is that you are digging out of a financial hole and you have a child to consider which ups the ante for things like roommates, schools, and space.

Starting from where you are, the two options are cut expenses and make more money, preferably both.  I think you are headed in the right direction with seeking child support and moving to a more economical apartment.  I hate to be blunt though to say that you have to do more and it will really suck.  You aren't spending extravagantly by any stretch but you aren't compromising either.  The ship has sailed already but you could have lived in a studio or 1 bedroom when your child was younger much easier than you can now. You could have looked into another in home daycare rather than a center.  Both those things there could have been the difference of $500/month and then when you needed to move up to more space you could do it when the childcare expense would lessen.

So given where you are now, what can you do.  The first is that you need to have a network.  If you are truly on your own, you need to make sure you find time to join a single mom support group or move to an apartment/area with more of a community feeling ... something.  Trust me I hate to depend on people for anything or ask for a favor but with kids you have to have that backup emergency contact should there be a crazy accident on the beltway etc. and like you I don't just trust my kids with someone I don't know. I joined a mom group years ago and it took time but a have a few good friends that I otherwise would not have.  Also, does your ex have any visitation?  I know financially he was a mess, but is there another reason why he isn't involved with raising his child?  Besides building a relationship, this would give you a chance to maybe pickup extra income with a part-time job if there was a set schedule for visitation, give you a chance to build friendships with other moms, take a break, have someone to help with the pickup and different activities.

As for more income the only way this would happen is either if you can figure out child care that would allow you to work part-time ( could be a swap with someone else, ex has visitation, you find if there is an online course that you could teach/be a part of in finance etc.) or you find a higher paying job.  Make sure you are finding time for your professional networks also.  If you went to school is this area, make sure you keep up with the alumni circle if you can.

So far you may be asking what part of the plan sucks, well you have to do more and you have to depend on someone more (I.e. your ex or whomever helps with childcare) and you may be spending less time with your son or spending time with your son and other kids if you are in a babysitting co-OP/reciprocity situation.  The other part is of course expenses.  Your child may not be able to grow up with the same kids at the neighborhood school (this was always a particular dream of mine because my parents moved very five years), he may have a lack of space because you moved to a one bedroom apt (my mom grew up in a 2 bedroom apt with 4 kids in NY), he may start at a school that has mediocre test scores (I don't exaggerate when I tell you there were needles on the playground where I grew up partially prompting one of the moves).  However, despite all of these things he can still succeed and go on to do well in life.  If you are in Fairfax county, there are Gifted and talented centers and magnets that are open to you no matter what the school.  You may need the time to work with your child with math and reading and either time/money to provide enrichment and will need to figure out how to get that done but that is one path.  My grandmother never went to college but raised the 4 kids in a 2 bedroom and most of the kids got into magnet high schools.  So anyway, living cost/school is the big area where you need to take a hard look before you move in April.   I think the next two expense areas of food and phone were already addressed in previous posts.

Really wishing you the best of luck and I know it's not easy.  One of the things I admire my mom is that she is she is the type of person that can take rice and make 10 different meals out of it if she had to.  I realize money can be fleeting and if you don't have the internal fortitude to make those uncomfortable compromises and ingenuity to make something from not much you can end up in a very bad place in this world.  I want my kids to strive for better and not fall apart at the first setback.  You will be teaching these things to your child by example.

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