Reply to My in laws just told my husband that we have to take DD to church to show her off

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Reply to "My in laws just told my husband that we have to take DD to church to show her off"

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.

OP--it's about respect.  You want them to respect your boundaries, your family rules, how you care for your child, your schedules, etc.  And, yet, you won't give them the respect to fulfill one important desire for them.  They have been attending their church for a long time, have seen other families have children and grandchildren, come and introduce them at church, show them off and they would like to do the same.  They want one evening at church with their grandchild to show their family pride to their community.  They are not asking you to convert, they are not trying to introduce religion to your child (she won't understand), but they are trying to be a part of their community and show off their child.  Yes, it would be nice to be able to show up at the beginning or end for just the social aspects, but that gives short shrift to the church service which means a lot to them.  Having their family including son and grandchild, and preferably daughter-in-law (but that's less important) with them means that they are sharing and important event with their community and including their family as a part of it.  I'm not religious, but I know from my various friends of several religions that the inclusiveness of having your family at special high holiday events is important, even if the family does not participate in the day-to-day religious practices.  So, having family for Christmas Mass, Easter Mass, Passover Seder, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur Breakfast, Eid Breaking of the Fast, Chinese New Year festivals, and many other such events is a very important part of these communities.

Show them respect by allowing them or your husband to bring the child for the full service for them so that they'll give you respect for things that are important to you in return.  If you don't, then you should have no complaint when they likewise do not respect what's important to you later.  That old Golden Rule thing.[/quote]

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