Reply to Grandparents coming in for first grandchild--tension already

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Well, I just had a very negative conversation with my parents about this issue today.  Am feeling really stressed and upset.

Basically they said that all their friends think it's "very weird" and "feel bad for them" that I don't want them staying with us for 3 weeks or longer to help take care of the baby after baby is born.  That it makes them feel bad that all their friends feel so sorry for them because their daughter doesn't want them to help out and stay with them and that I'm the only woman ever who does not want her parents to stay for 3 weeks and help.

I tried to explain that a) I have no idea what kind of delivery I'm going to have--c section, tearing, etc. and that I'm going to be a complete mess when I get home and I really don't want to have to think about the needs of guests after giving birth while I'm trying to recover and figure out how to take care of a newborn for the first time, b) that I have a very helpful husband who is capable of doing everything, and c) in the past when they have visited they have been very high maintenance guests who need their creature comforts just so and so staying in a hotel at this time would make the most sense.

What I didn't mention is that I also don't want to hear jugments/criticisms of how my housekeeping sucks, that I don't have the food they like, that they're bored, etc.  Last time they visited that's all I heard.

My father got on the phone and screamed at me, and I just tried to stay calm and didn't yell back.

I just feel stressed and upset.  My parents can only see things from their perspective, it seems.  [/quote]

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