Reply to Experience dating military officers?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Experience dating military officers?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Haven't read the whole 4 pages. I'm not married to a Military Officer but my husband's career has a very similar chain of command. He also wears a uniform. Here is what I have learned about my husband that *may* help you with your man.

1) Non PC jokes: Your boyfriend is MALE. Many men joke and their choice of jokes aren't always PC. That's nothing your going to change. These jokes and the humor probably comes from hanging around mostly male units during deployment/working with mostly men.

My husband has a derogatory sense of humor with his friends. He doesn't bring it home much, if not at all, anymore since I put my foot down on that. I wasn't harsh, I just explained that being a woman, I don't think the stuff that men laugh about is funny. Just as he thinks the stuff me and women talk about is pointless and boring.

2) Cocky: My husband wears a uniform. He's seen, be involved in, taken care of, risked his life-- and the list goes on. Sometimes I think pride is considered cocky. However, I am sure he couldn't be 2 inches tall and do his job. Think about the experience he's had with the military and the amount of education, hard work and promotion it has taken to get him there. How old is he? My husband is in his 30s and I have been told that this age people in his career are still "crazy" about their jobs. Might be something to think about...

3) Lack of Empathy/Emotions: You need to think about the training that he's had for him to preform the job that he does day in and day out. My husband has been trained to think and react in certain ways. He is a 100% no drama person, hardly cracks a smile or sheds a tear. However, he couldn't be an emotional mess and do his job. If he's deployed and seen people blown up, his friends shot and killed then he has seen real, scary things happen. You can't function in that type of environment with emotion.

Instead of focusing on his lack of emotion, try and understand WHY he is that way. You won't be able to understand the impact these situations have had on him unless you walk in those boots yourself. As a wife of a man in a similar setting as your boyfriend, I have learned to do the following:

I spell out exactly how I am feeling and what I need from DH. This way, he has been told what to do and can let down that wall that he has up 99% of the time.

I don't talk work. I understand that as much as his job effects our family life and marriage that it won't change unless he changes careers. And, this is what he wants to do. Living with someone who is prideful, confident and strong isn't a bad thing. I just don't bring up things I don't understand. That lets him get away from work too.

I have a support system of women married to men in the same career. This is huge! If you see this relationship working out for the long haul, I suggest you surround yourself with women who understand the difficulties. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics