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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My insights as a mom of three who's been married 17 years:

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If he rubs her shoulders or legs and sees what happens, I'll tell you what will happen. Nothing.

Date night? He'll turn it into a covert contract for sex and he'll be disappointed because she still won't want to have sex with him.

Buy her sexy things? She'll perceive it as yet more pressure to have sex.

OP's sex life sounds awful. He's basically using his wife to masturbate. If she's giving him feed back on what she likes and how to make sex enjoyable for her but he's not responding to that feedback, then it's on him. If she's not providing any feedback, then that's step 1. A good marriage requires at least a decent sex life. A decent sex life requires both partners to make an effort. [/quote]

Preach it, dude.[/quote]

I stand FIRM in my suggestions.  Heh, heh...I said FIRM.

It takes two to have a great sex life.  These things would all//have all worked for me, tried and true and all that!  Maybe I'm easier to please, but I was trying to help OP defrost his frigid wife.

I tell my DH that it doesn't take much to make me happy/turn me on; just help me get in the mood sometimes.  I need more than just climbing into bed next to me as foreplay.[/quote]

Yeah, but it sounds like you *want* to be turned on by your husband. As long as you fundamentally regard sex with your husband as a positive thing and are open to let him make it enjoyable for you; then date night, foreplay, buying sexy things, etc. stand a chance of working. But if you're just shut down to sex with your husband in the first place, those things are likely to be counterproductive. [/quote]

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