Reply to My husband told his parents that my job is disappearing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is really stressful to lose a job.  Is it possible that you are projecting some of your distress onto your husband? Can you just avoid the ILs for the duration, and have a talk with DH focusing on the positive things he can do to support you?  It does get better![/quote]

OP Here. Part of the reason I am having a hard time is that this is right before the holidays. There is no way I can avoid the ILs, as we are spending the later part of this week with them and more time in December. If you knew my ILs you know this will be the favorite topic to talk about over Thanksgiving dinner. I really can't see how I can be expected to put myself through that and have any self-respect left at the end of it. [/quote]

So were you expecting your husband to lie all through the holidays if they asked about your job?  Do you really not see how you are overreacting?  Also, were you in on the phone call or were you listening in?  What stopped you from saying "yes, it is unfortunate.  My company downsized and while they still had a position for me, it just wasn't going to work out."   Take a step back and calm down.  You want to separate from your husband over this? I feel bad for him.  [/quote]

My husband uses the speakerphone function in our small apartment. I wasn't part of the call so I thought it would be weird to jump in. Also, I was a little bit flabbergasted he said anything. I would never ask him to lie. He could have honestly answered the question with "we're fine" or any number of variations on that. We almost never talk about work with them because of their history of being a**holes about it. Part of the reason I am upset is that he tells me everything is okay, well fine...then act like it is. I need him to be positive right now. I know I am very stressed and going through a hard time, and I need him to make it better, not worse. Getting sh*t from the ILs is going to make the process more difficult. I also think it was MY news to tell, not his. At the absolute least, he needs to be positive in what he says around me. I don't think this is asking to much. [/quote]

Lady get a grip, it is not his job to make your life better. Your husband is a person too, he can provide suport, but not magically make your troubles go away. He did not fire you, he just opened his big mouth and told his parents when you were not ready to spread the news.
His job is to be PART OF YOUR TEAM and guess what, sometimes your teammate runs their big mouth. Sometimes the other teammate overreacts about it. Looks like a draw.
And serious question, if you are concerned about finances, why would you just not take the job they offered and kept looking for a new job? Or would you have had to sign a contract obligating you to work for a specified period of time?[/quote]

OP again. We are not at all worried about finances. I never said we were. My husband and I, together, decided that we didn't need the money so much as the time. We are both selective about our jobs, and are fortunate that we can do that if we want. Money is no issue in our situation, although of course the in laws want to see a balance sheet now that the whole situation has become public knowledge. [/quote]

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