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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I completely disagree about not going after child support.  You don't need to involve lawyers.  Just file and he will go to court where a judge will decide support.  Even if he makes next to nothing, he still needs to contribute to his child's upbringing.  Once CS is determined, it can come right out of his paycheck into your checking account.  You don't have to pay anything to file.  Just fill out paperwork.  [/quote]

I hear you. Believe me, I've gotten my share of opinions on this issue. I'm really enjoying this budgeting discussion and don't want to derail my own thread. But:

At our combined income level, presumptive DC guidelines don't apply. However, plugging our numbers in using the basic calculator puts his obligation at $550/mo, $430 above what he's currently putting in DD's 529. Would that extra $430/mo help us? Of course. But DD's birth, as joyous of an event as it was, was a complex event. Being at a point where I was personally, professionally, and financially stable to become a parent, I welcomed the pregnancy and was over the moon. But his circumstances were different, and when I chose to have DD, I knew that. I decided to prioritize re-building trust and a friendship between the two of us, rather than focus on a few hundred dollars a month. And we've made some pretty great progress. I have an incredibly generous and supportive family, and DD will not go without something she needs. If my goal is to raise a happy, emotionally healthy young woman, she'll need her Dad.

Now. That all sounds lovely. But it just may not work out that way. The statistics surrounding father-child contact 7 years after birth when mom and dad weren't married are discouraging (only 23 % have frequent contact with their kids). But this is a long road ahead of us, and I felt that starting from a place where I emphasized the importance of his role as a dad (rather than his role as a monetary provider) was a better way to begin. We can change course at any time, and when he's no longer in his 20's, it wouldn't surprise me if he stepped up on his own. Until then, it works for us.
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