Reply to Punishment doesn't seem to phase this kid

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Punishment doesn't seem to phase this kid"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Because you keep referring to her as "this child".  It sounds cold and distant.[/b]  And, disciplining her is not the answer.  You may need to work with a psychologist or another professional to help you because you are not trained to figure it out.[/quote]

:roll:

"This child" as opposed to her other siblings. [/quote]

Out of 7 kids she is the only one with learning disabilities- in fact the only one not in gifted. I don't know how to deal with an average kid with learning disabilities. We have read books, talked to professionals and tried different ways of helping her. Old habits die hard. She has probably the sweetest disposition kids out of the 7 too. All her teachers consistently say they have never seen a kid try as hard as she does so it's not like we are dealing with a lazy or defiant kid.  Our problem is simply how do we deal with the repeated disobedience and organization issues.

The consensus seems that we are too heavy with punishment- but this comes after many warnings.  What do you all do when your children disobey?  Or is everyone "free range" and don't have rules per say?

[/quote]

I don't think you are Mommy Dearest, but I think what people are reacting to is that you seem really upset about things that seem relatively minor to most other parents.  We are not "free range" but we know that we have to keep our cool and not get to a level 8 on the anger scale (scale being 1-10) for things like "ate chips when she wasn't authorized" and "went outside to play when homework wasn't done yet."  Even if there was lying/dishonesty involved, you can't make these into a level 8 reaction on your part.  You can be disappointed.  You can express that.  But, give your child a little room to do a few things wrong and disappointing.  She's not you and she doesn't have to please you all the time.  You can still have rules (even if it is a "no chips" rule -- although I'm the PP who suggested buying individual bags and letting her have one).  But, realize that there is a difference b/c breaking the rules when the rule involves chips and breaking the rule when the rule involves drugs/sex/hutting someones else.  Talk with her about the homework:  You require that it gets done. She decides the when.  So long as she can show it to you by the time she goes to bed.  Talk with her about the consequences (#1, she doesn't have it done for the next day, and #2 maybe she loses TV/Computer/phone time for the next day.  Note that I said the next DAY, not the next WEEK.).  Don't make the punishment for a small offense too severe or you won't have anywhere to go when the offense gets bigger.  And give her a chance to be on non-punishment status more than being on punishment-status.  She's going to stop trying to please you if she is under punishment conditions more often than not.

Lastly, try to "catch her doing something good" as Dr. Phil would say.  But, generally, moderate your reactions -- the infractions you have described are small and shouldn't be making you so upset/stressed.  They are relatively normal.    [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics