Reply to friends & family in absentia: the aftermath

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cancer patient here. I have no idea if this is a real post, but I will say, OP, if you are using cancer to troll here, that's pretty low.

However, I'm not sure you're trolling so here's what I think.

If my friends threw a party for my first year cancer free, I would be grateful and appreciative of their effort. I am an adult. I don't expect parties for my milestones. If my friends did that, it would be an incredibly unselfish and kind. ( I'm not yet cancer free, so I have no idea whether my friends would do such a kind thing.) after the first year, though, it's kind of odd, maybe a little over the top generous. At five years, it would seem very weird to expect friends and families to prioritize this milestone. Every survivor I know wants only to move on and look forward, not continue to focus on the day of remission.

The other thing that baffles me is your focus, OP, on judging people who have always been so supportive of you as to go the extremes of throwing your DH a party every year. One of the greatest things cancer has taught me is to be merciful to other people.  People get busy, people have challenges, and yes, people can be selfish. Who cares?  Everyone is doing the best they can.

If your DH is really all broken up about not having a party for his 6th anniversary, then the way you console him is to throw him one. But don't blame your friends and family. It is incredibly unusual, and surprising, to hear he expects a big party in perpetuity.[/quote]

Great advice PP.  Good luck on your recovery[/quote]

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