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[quote=CindyBindy][quote=Anonymous]Dear Amazing "Ugly" Woman On This Thread, You all sound amazing. I would love to be friends with you. Thank you for your eloquent and humorous perspectives on something that people do not talk about. It is hard to get people to admit that there is not a "fix" for everything that is deemed by culture as being "unattractive". Note: I do not personally believe that you "need" to "fix" these "unattractive" things. I wish that we could, instead, "fix" the social messaging that devalues people who are not considered attractive. If all my friends were as confident and self aware as you all, I would consider myself very lucky indeed. Signed, Girl who has always been pretty by conventional standards[/quote] Beautifully put. The PP I quoted is right. To all the "ugly" women here, I am so sorry about the cruelty you have endured. I'm aghast that a group of boys would publicly vote on who is the "ugliest girl in school", or someone would tell you "You hit [i]every[/i] branch." I know you've probably been too hurt to believe me when I say this, but I'll say it anyway: attraction is so subjective and impossible to calculate that it really is impossible to measure beauty. I can practically see you rolling your eyes with impatience over this - maybe you think I'm just another kind, well-meaning person who is telling you bs about self-esteem and "everyone is beautiful." But what I'm saying really is the truth. Not that "Everyone is beautiful", but "everyone is beautiful and ugly". You are going to be judged by people with wildly different ideas of what they find attractive. And this doesn't just apply to women who are in the middle of the conventional looks scale, even though people think they are the most likely ones to experience really diverse reactions. Men are attracted to things you wouldn't believe - hirsute women, really freckled women, super hair armpits, big noses, crooked teeth, small breasts, thick waists, round bellies, jiggly thighs, everything. Just go onto your local Craigslist one day and look at the "casual encounters" section. You'll be surprised at what men like when they think nobody is looking. Maybe you girls have had the misfortune to be surrounded by a very small and hive-minded group of men. Maybe you never learned to notice the signs that a man is attracted to you, because your negative self-image clouded your mind. Some of the purportedly "ugly" women in this thread are married and claim their husbands only saw "past" the exterior. Not at all! He saw the exterior and liked it. Men are visual creatures, like you admitted. If other men didn't like your exterior and refused to date you, why can't we say that your husbands asked you out because[i] they liked the way you looked[/i] - and only afterwards discovered your equally pretty personalities? Furthermore, if your husbands liked you, I find it hard to believe they are the only men who ever liked you. Like in this world of 7 billion people, you found the one single soul who was attracted to you. The fact is that you can't know what passed through the minds of all the men you've ever met. There is a chance that others were attracted to you, but for a whole host of reasons that had nothing to do with you - their own insecurities, wondering if you were taken, never finding the right moment - didn't ask you out. Hugs to all of you. Nobody deserves to go through life feeling rejected or thinking themselves ugly.[/quote]
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