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[quote=Anonymous]OP I am on barely speaking terms with my dad and haven't spoken to my mom for more than 25 years.  Most people who don't understand the situation think I am a horrible person.  Most people can't understand.  My parents if you met them a at party wouldn't come across poorly so people think I am the one with a problem.  Maybe I could have handled things differently.  However, the thought of re conciling with my mom pains me more than the thought of not talking to her.  She's done some very cruel things to my sister since the event that triggered me cutting off from her completely.  My dad has done some cruel things to me so I expect nothing and have built a wall around me when I see him.  He complains that I am cold it's no wonder.  I'll never forgive him for letting his then girlfriend kick me out of the house for a minor infraction a few months after college.  Think something like leaving the dishes in the sink and she blew up at me and screamed told me to get out.  Btw-I did apologize before she went ape.  I thought she was going to assault me.  I never raised my voice and I left heart broken.  She had anger issues and I went to live with GP.  Each weekend, he would come alone to his parents and berate me and tell me that I needed to apologize to her.  Each time he did this the wound got deeper.  He also told me hurtful things like I wasn't allowed to come over without calling first after I went back to pick up my clothes.  I had no desire to do that but his continual bantering me alienated me further.  He never apologized to me.  I think the closest was he told my sister if he had stayed with her he would have lost both children.  This was 15 years ago and it still hurts.

There are some good things about my dad but each time I try to trust him he hurts me.  So I expect nothing.  Of course my dad volunteers to find balloons but the day of the party he calls me to say he can't find a place that sells them.
Sorry for the rambling but the most hurtful incident occured 15 years ago and the other incident recently.  A person who does what your parents did isn't going to change as much as you might wish.  I think you should stay away  from your parents and just accept that some people will think less of you for it.  Sorry OP.
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