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[quote=Anonymous]I was worried about this too- because more than a baby hog (which she is), my MIL does NOTHING to help out EVER, and I knew I'd really need some actual help.  Then DH's stepmom announced she wanted to be "on the first plane!" so we freaked out again, because even though she is very helpful and lovely, DH's stepmom couldn't be in line ahead of his actual mom and my mom to see this baby.... So we asked everyone to stay away for a bit, mostly so as not to single out step MIL and hurt her feelings.

It all totally backfired.  I ended up very ill (3 more trips to the hospital after birth, all with surgery attached).  I had in-home nurse visits, all kinds of drugs, pumping and dumping- I needed nothing more than SOMEONE to come and hold that baby while I was hooked up to an IV.  I had to ask my mother to come (after hurting her feelings by originally asking her not to come straight away), and then she spent the better part of the next year coming and going from 500 miles away.

It taught me to not anticipate "the worst," because clearly the real worst was way worse than the worst thing I had anticipated with MIL and step MIL.  And I was ashamed of hurting everyone's feelings when all they were doing was expressing love / excitement / joy.  Having a baby is somewhat of a village affair.[/quote]

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