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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids know the rule: If you want to go to college, you have to pay for it.

Oldest worked her ass off at school and got a full ride to a good college, second worked 40hrs/week during summers starting 9th grade and had part time jobs during the school year and is paying essentially out of pocket + a few scholarships. Youngest one is currently a sophomore and relying on loans plus a little saved up over her high school career.

Our kids knew that they had to do the work to get jobs. Some parents can "hire" their kid at their own company, but we couldn't, and wouldn't. Some might see it as mean or bad parenting, but you have to realize that we won't be able to pay for their first house, or their wedding, or their graduate school. [b]If we pay for their college, they never will learn to pull their own way. [/b]They will expect us to bail out their bad decisions. And if DD1 couldn't find a job over the summer and needed a bit more money, we would probably loan her a bit (with interest) as we know she is a hardworking adult who will pay us back.

[b]I see parents paying for their kids to go to college, and it makes me sad. Those are kids who will never truly be independent. We could pay for college for our kids, but we decided that it was not our jobs. [/b][/quote]

You do what works for your family, but I think that you are making some dangerous generalizations.  By itself, paying for a kid's education or helping them pay for it does not make them dependents who cannot take care of themselves.  My job as a parent is to prepare my kids for the world as best I can and make them self sufficient.  In this current job market, an undergrad degree is the basic entry level requirement.    So I have no probelm paying the lion's share.  What I do require is that they provide most of their own spending money, that they get good grades and that they have some skin in the game (either through scholarships or loans).

Nobody expects you to pay for their wedding or their first house  - I would not pay for either of those myself.  But I do not think that a college education is the same thing! [/quote]

Agree completely.  We will pay for DD's college.  I am grateful that my parents paid for my undergrad.  Then, I paid for law school myself by working full time and going to school at night.  Boy, my parents' generosity sure turned me into a lazy-ass slacker, right?[/quote]

Same here! Now I make a good income (better than my parents ever did) and will happily help them when they need it. I hope the miserable parent above doesn't have any expectations of help from their kids when they're elderly etc[/quote]

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