Reply to Does it make sense for me to die so my family can live?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all for your input. I expected more flames, but maybe I just haven't waited long enough.

I'm actually not depressed. And I doubt that I would actually go through with suicide (not to say I haven't thought about the wheres and hows). I would probably default first and just live in the shadow of the law for the rest of my life. Given that I am in my late 30s, we are running out of time to turn this situation around. On DCUM everyone is talking about 529s and how much they have saved for retirement (not to mention the vacations, private schools, country clubs, nannies, summer camps, and on and on) and all I can do is laugh because that is so far removed from what we will ever be capable of. I didn't understand the importance of money when I was in my 20s. I thought I didn't care about money, that I wanted to "help people" instead, and now money is all I can think about morning, noon and night and the person who needs help is me. I had no idea what it really cost to live a reasonably comfortable middle class life with a family. My kids are already learning about the important of money and sound financial planning. I don't ever want them to have to be in this position -- although since we won't be able to pay for their college, I'm not sure how to prevent them from taking on any educational debt.

I still think that from a financial perspective, my death makes the most sense. It would be better if I just had a heart attack or got cancer, though, as I understand that suicide is uniquely terrible for kids. I definitely want to do what is best for them. [/quote]

I haven't read all the replies to see if anyone suggested this, but have you considered making yourself judgment proof and then defaulting on your student loans?  That is, whatever is in your name, retitle it in your DH's name, then stop paying your student loans.  They are unsecured debt so while your credit will go down the toilet that's better than being dead in anybody's book, and nothing will happen to your DH's, and since you don't work or expect to work, you don't have much to fear if they come after you.  You also might qualify for loan forgiveness.  See this article:

http://www.mint.com/blog/credit/married-couples-and-student-loan-debt-10201/

Note: This is not legal advice.  If you actually plan to do something like this you should ask a knowledgeable attorney first.[/quote]

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