Reply to My fantasy is to be a loner who just hangs out with my pets and my plants and my books

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I was worried people were going to tell me I'm terrible. I'm so glad to have found some kindred spirits.

I think I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm supposed to be social, make friends, go out, etc. I turn 50 soon and I think I've just realized it is not what makes me happy. I have always been a fan of Mary Oliver's poetry and recently I've been thinking a lot about her lifestyle, which involved a lot of solitude, time in nature, and just focusing on her work which necessitated being alone a lot.  She had a partner for over 40 years so she wasn't totally alone, and certainly she worked with others at times and had friends, but it sounds like she was mostly just a solitary person.

I think that is the truest representation of what I want. It does not feel possible now with my kid the age she is, but I'd like to start working towards it.[/quote]

Do you at least have a small circle to keep you grounded in reality a little, and as a safety net for emergencies? As in, a sister plus one close friend? Two cousins you’re close with?

I’ve noticed that some people, [b]as they start to do this - usually in retirement- they very quickly decline mentally[/b]. I think they inadvertently make things a lot harder for themselves by so drastically limiting their interactions with others. [/quote]

This is my fear. Lots of scare-media about loneliness being the health equivalent of two packs of cigarettes a day or whatever. [/quote]

No one is suggesting being lonely or existing without any human interaction at all. We're talking about no longer engaging in obligatory socializing and just spending time with the people we really care about, including ourselves.

This used to be a fairly normal thing for people to do, especially as they got older. Contemporary expectations for socializing are really intense by historical standards. [/quote]

This is not true unless you were on a homestead.  Read Bowling Alone.  This whole thread is indicative of the mental health crisis in the US: a positive feedback loop of dysfunction.[/quote]

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