Reply to Regret not having one last child

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Regret not having one last child "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.[/quote]

False.[/quote]

You have kids for you, not to give your kids siblings who may or may not get along.[/quote]

This is a matter of opinion and personal preference, but I personally feel that 3+ kids takes some or the pressure off sibling dynamics.  I grew up in a 2 kid family and always wished I had more siblings.  We don't have a bad relationship as adults, but we also don’t really click.  My spouse has 3 siblings and gets something different out of each relationship (some more, some less).  I like that more.  No, there are no guarantees about who your kids will be and what they will prefer — some us just grow up wanting the opposite of what they have! — but I do think that many people like having sibling relationships and it can be nice when there are more than one.[/quote]

There is no larger truth here, just different sibling experiences. I have one sibling and my husband has 3, just like you. I have a good relationship with my sibling, though I wouldn't say we are close friends. But we have been reliably there for one another thru difficult events and we get along well and enjoy each other's company when we are together. I wish we lived closer to one another and my plan is to move closer to him when DH and I retire. My DH has barely any relationship with 2 of his siblings (one he actively dislikes, one he has little in common with), and has a cordial and pleasant relationship with the 3rd. Two of his 3 siblings were no help at all when MIL and FIL were declining/dying, so there is some strong resentment there.

There is simply **no way** to predict the kind of relationship your children will have when they are grown. They can be extremely close as children and much less close in adulthood. They can be relatively distant as children and much more close in adulthood. (My mother hated her sister growing up, and in adulthood they have become best friends. My DH is closest to his sibling who is 11 years older, who my DH barely remembers living in the same house with.)

IMO, sibling relationships in adulthood depend in part on who they marry. I really like spending time with my brother, but his wife can be wearing. I think the difficult relationship my DH has with one sibling is exacerbated by that sibling's wife. My best friend has a so-so relationship with her brother but adores his wife, so the families spend a lot of time together; that likely wouldn't be true if her brother had married someone else.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics