Reply to 25% is typical rate of nonconsentual sexual contact women report at US colleges? can someone explain this to me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a father of a daughter, I am deeply concerned about SA in colleges but also confused about girls not reporting. If all this info will be made public, the schools will invest more money and effort to fix it. Forum comments have little to no effect other then making others aware of this situation.
Go and report every single time right away and not 10 years later! This is not ok![/quote]

Honestly, I think the punishments are too severe in some cases.  
My experience was that I was 18, I invited a man I just met at a party to my room to make out, and he wanted to have sex.  I made it clear that I wasn’t interested, and he stopped for a minute and then pretty aggressively put his hand down my pants and put his fingers inside me.  I shoved him out of my way, ran out the door of my room, and locked myself in the communal dorm bathroom. 
 
It was confusing at the time.  I definitely felt violated.  I ended up dropping an honors class that I was in with him and went into the regular section.  I wouldn’t go to any parties at the fraternity he belonged to.  I couldn’t deal with a man having his fingers inside me for a long time.  Maybe 10 years?  It was a couple of years after I got married.

At the same time, I wasn’t trying to ruin this man’s life.  We were both drinking.  He was also very sexually inexperienced.  I thought that maybe he thought this was going to turn me on.  I still think that might have been true.  I remember at the time, I felt bad that I had embarrassed him.  As a woman, you are conditioned not to embarrass men about sex.

It would be nice if there were shades of gray.  Your choices are: you want this man kicked out of school and locked in prison, or everything is fine.  There is nothing in between.  [/quote]

What he did was wrong and I agree that it is a hard decision to take. However, what happened affected your life. He might have misunderstood the signs. He was drunk then but he was sober the next day. He should have come to check, admit the wrong doing and apologize. At least he could have done that. [/quote]

You know, I think that if there had been a punishment where he had to write a letter to the RA apologizing for his behavior before he could come back in the dorm, I probably would have reported it.

I will say that every other man or boy I have been with has stopped when I wanted to stop.  I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with men.  This is probably why I didn’t see any danger in having a strange boy I didn’t know alone in my room with me!  
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