Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One word: men.

It is horrifically high, yes. We need to do better.

Women do sexually assault women. Men do sexually assault other men too. There are victims on both sides, and obviously there are far more cases of men assaulting women but I personally know men who have been assaulted and don't report because there is an additional shame that they hold because some ignorant people won't believe men because they don't understand how they can be SA'ed too.

Please do better than saying one word "men".

Anonymous wrote:Most of SAs happens when people are drunk. Most of these incidents happens at fraternities/sororities parties. Just wondering why are these not banned from colleges? Or at least why colleges don't monitor their activity better.

Anonymous wrote:Most of SAs happens when people are drunk. Most of these incidents happens at fraternities/sororities parties. Just wondering why are these not banned from colleges? Or at least why colleges don't monitor their activity better.

Anonymous wrote:Most of SAs happens when people are drunk. Most of these incidents happens at fraternities/sororities parties. Just wondering why are these not banned from colleges? Or at least why colleges don't monitor their activity better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems horrifically high. Or am I clueless? And cornell is particularly bad? What?

I think it’s much higher. I don’t know many women who *haven’t* had nonconsensual sexual contact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can avoid most of this as a female student if you stay in packs of girlfriends and don't get drunk. This is not victim blaming but it's fairly easy to avoid.

My daughter and friends don't go to frat parties and don't get drunk. For friends they do things like go out to dinner and go to concerts, etc.
None have come close to being assaulted.

This is absolutely victim blaming. I sincerely hope your daughter never experiences SA, but the solution is not for women to need a buddy at all times. It's for men to learn to ask for and respect consent.

DP.

I am a dude and I will not walk into some neighborhoods. I will not go some places alone. If I get robbed or beaten, it's not my fault but it is predictable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can avoid most of this as a female student if you stay in packs of girlfriends and don't get drunk. This is not victim blaming but it's fairly easy to avoid.

My daughter and friends don't go to frat parties and don't get drunk. For friends they do things like go out to dinner and go to concerts, etc.
None have come close to being assaulted.

This is absolutely victim blaming. I sincerely hope your daughter never experiences SA, but the solution is not for women to need a buddy at all times. It's for men to learn to ask for and respect consent.

DP.

I am a dude and I will not walk into some neighborhoods. I will not go some places alone. If I get robbed or beaten, it's not my fault but it is predictable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a daughter, I am deeply concerned about SA in colleges but also confused about girls not reporting. If all this info will be made public, the schools will invest more money and effort to fix it. Forum comments have little to no effect other then making others aware of this situation.
Go and report every single time right away and not 10 years later! This is not ok!

Honestly, I think the punishments are too severe in some cases.
My experience was that I was 18, I invited a man I just met at a party to my room to make out, and he wanted to have sex. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested, and he stopped for a minute and then pretty aggressively put his hand down my pants and put his fingers inside me. I shoved him out of my way, ran out the door of my room, and locked myself in the communal dorm bathroom.

It was confusing at the time. I definitely felt violated. I ended up dropping an honors class that I was in with him and went into the regular section. I wouldn’t go to any parties at the fraternity he belonged to. I couldn’t deal with a man having his fingers inside me for a long time. Maybe 10 years? It was a couple of years after I got married.

At the same time, I wasn’t trying to ruin this man’s life. We were both drinking. He was also very sexually inexperienced. I thought that maybe he thought this was going to turn me on. I still think that might have been true. I remember at the time, I felt bad that I had embarrassed him. As a woman, you are conditioned not to embarrass men about sex.

It would be nice if there were shades of gray. Your choices are: you want this man kicked out of school and locked in prison, or everything is fine. There is nothing in between.

What he did was wrong and I agree that it is a hard decision to take. However, what happened affected your life. He might have misunderstood the signs. He was drunk then but he was sober the next day. He should have come to check, admit the wrong doing and apologize. At least he could have done that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a daughter, I am deeply concerned about SA in colleges but also confused about girls not reporting. If all this info will be made public, the schools will invest more money and effort to fix it. Forum comments have little to no effect other then making others aware of this situation.
Go and report every single time right away and not 10 years later! This is not ok!

Honestly, I think the punishments are too severe in some cases.
My experience was that I was 18, I invited a man I just met at a party to my room to make out, and he wanted to have sex. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested, and he stopped for a minute and then pretty aggressively put his hand down my pants and put his fingers inside me. I shoved him out of my way, ran out the door of my room, and locked myself in the communal dorm bathroom.

It was confusing at the time. I definitely felt violated. I ended up dropping an honors class that I was in with him and went into the regular section. I wouldn’t go to any parties at the fraternity he belonged to. I couldn’t deal with a man having his fingers inside me for a long time. Maybe 10 years? It was a couple of years after I got married.

At the same time, I wasn’t trying to ruin this man’s life. We were both drinking. He was also very sexually inexperienced. I thought that maybe he thought this was going to turn me on. I still think that might have been true. I remember at the time, I felt bad that I had embarrassed him. As a woman, you are conditioned not to embarrass men about sex.

It would be nice if there were shades of gray. Your choices are: you want this man kicked out of school and locked in prison, or everything is fine. There is nothing in between.

What he did was wrong and I agree that it is a hard decision to take. However, what happened affected your life. He might have misunderstood the signs. He was drunk then but he was sober the next day. He should have come to check, admit the wrong doing and apologize. At least he could have done that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can avoid most of this as a female student if you stay in packs of girlfriends and don't get drunk. This is not victim blaming but it's fairly easy to avoid.

My daughter and friends don't go to frat parties and don't get drunk. For friends they do things like go out to dinner and go to concerts, etc.
None have come close to being assaulted.

This is absolutely victim blaming. I sincerely hope your daughter never experiences SA, but the solution is not for women to need a buddy at all times. It's for men to learn to ask for and respect consent.

Anonymous wrote:As a father of a daughter, I am deeply concerned about SA in colleges but also confused about girls not reporting. If all this info will be made public, the schools will invest more money and effort to fix it. Forum comments have little to no effect other then making others aware of this situation.
Go and report every single time right away and not 10 years later! This is not ok!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can avoid most of this as a female student if you stay in packs of girlfriends and don't get drunk. This is not victim blaming but it's fairly easy to avoid.

My daughter and friends don't go to frat parties and don't get drunk. For friends they do things like go out to dinner and go to concerts, etc.
None have come close to being assaulted.

I was once slapped (very hard) on the butt by a passing bicyclist when I was on a crowded trail with a girl friend in the middle of the day. Good thing I never got drunk and went to frat parties 🙄