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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Just out of curiosity....."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you understand marriage and parenthood as long-term relationships with priorities that change over time, then there is no simple answer to the question. When the kids are young, the kids first. They need you for survival, then for lots of guidance and protection. As they age, they become more capable of caring for themselves. BUT, THEY ARE ALWAYS YOUR CHILDREN. ALWAYS. Marriages end, your status as a parent does not. When the kids are older and more independent, then the marriage/spouse take up more time and energy. I would hope that DH would also put the kids first before me when the kids are young. That is what makes me happy as his wife. Frankly, I see the resentful DHs as stunted emotionally.[b] Do not compete with your wife for your (young) children's time and energy, especially if you have an infant. Once the kids are in school, yes, your priorities change[/b]. But so long as you have a baby at home, both parents should be focusing their energies on the child. [/quote] Er...ok...so DH should expect to be sexless for how many years? What planet are you from?[/quote] They way you understood that line says more about your marriage than mine. It's not hard to be reasonable. Do not expect sex from your wife if she's been up every two hours nursing your baby. Try to be understanding when she's been having a hard day. Don't just offer help--or wait for her to ask to do something around the house. Do the dishes, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, take the other kids out every Saturday morning for a few hours--without her having to ask you. No one is saying that the baby needs to be a year old before you have sex, but if she's not up for sex every weekend night, don't whine about it. Why don't you offer to pleasure her, with no pressure for her to reciprocate? She might surprise you. [/quote]
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