Reply to Dad's third wedding. Do I go?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Dad's third wedding. Do I go?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for your advice, really. It's incredibly helpful, including the very on point poster who suggested I needed some help to work through my approach to this relationship. You are right and me tearing up reading your post underscored that!

I should have added that the wedding is a three hour flight away. My dad would like us to stay with him, but I would not want that. If we go, we need to have our own space. So we would need to get flights and a hotel and car (no local mass transport and we have a wheelchair user in our family, so can't easily have someone pick us up in a regular car). It is possible I go solo and leave the family at home, but still entails flight and hotel and possibly car.

My other hang up is that my dad is someone who is always testing boundaries. So I worry it won't be enough for us to show up, he'll then have to push further, ie telling my kids to call his wife grandma or insisting I be a bridesmaid or something equally ridiculous. So even if I go in with the intention of smiling, celebrating, moving on, I will be on guard for him to push for more. But perhaps this just reinforces the need to spend a bit of time in therapy on all of this.

Thank you again for all the thoughts and welcome further![/quote]

I hate this about DCUM more than anything.  [b]Why the constant burying of the lead?[/b]  [/quote]  It is really irritating.[/quote]

OP here. I really did not mean to [b]bury the lede. [/b]Maybe it sounds absurd to you, but this thread has been incredibly enlightening to me (thank you again to everyone!). If you haven't had this kind of complicated relationship with someone you love, maybe it's hard to understand, but I really did think that I put the most important information in my first post--gosh, look at the book I wrote, lol. It was only in reflecting on the helpful replies that I realized that these two additional dimensions were shaping how I felt about attending. [/quote]

Are you a journalist, OP?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics