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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe focus on your kids and how having mom around full time will be great for them?  I find it a little strange that OP wrote out his extensive post including numbered bullets and the net benefit of having his children cared for by their mother instead of a hired caregiver wasn't part of the equation. [/quote]

[b]Maybe because some of us don't consider that enough of a benefit to list?[/b][/quote]

Really?  I am a professional working woman with advanced education and I find this statement offensive.  Even I can see "benefits" to my being the one to care for my child day in and day out.  This is why I created a maternity leave for myself that allowed me to unplug 100% from work.  It's why I switched jobs so I could have the flexibility to maximize my time with my child.  I've weighed the benefits of me being a full time or part time SAHM against the benefits of having my son cared for by people who are trained in early childhood, and the financial opportunity and security I can create for my family by being a part of the workforce.

[b]Why can't we all just admit and accept that each family, each husband and wife, have to decide what THEIR priorities are, what is right for THEIR family, what will make THEM happy[/b], and then move boldly forward with the choices they've made and work together to make the best life they can for their family, regardless?  Do all of you making snarky, critical comments about others choices accept such snark and criticism when it is directed at you?  Of course not.  If you want to share with OP your RESPECTFUL opinion/feedback about the choices you've made and how they work for you, so that he can consider different perspectives, great.  Otherwise, do please shut up.  It is so tiresome to see threads like this, especially one so respectfully and thoughtfully written as OP's, devolve into this kind of childish, small-minded, and petty pablum.  [/quote]

You're the one that is bringing this down.  the pp that you bolded did just that.  She said SOME of us don't consider that enough of a benefit to list. Your response?  Even I can see "benefits" to my being the one to care for my child day in and day out.  You're the one that added snark and not able to "admit and accept that each family...decided THEIR priorities.  EVEN YOU...can see benefits?  That implies that the pp who said SOME OF US don't see the benefits is an idiot for not seeing benefits because EVEN YOU are able to see the benefits.  You are the one bringing snark and criticism to this topic, NOT the pp.

[/quote]

Well, I disagree, but perhaps I read the comment wrong.  It's hard to decipher intent sometimes.  To me, that comment came across as a put down and a judgment on people who do consider being the primary caretaker of their children to be of greater benefit to their families than working outside the home.  If I was wrong about the intent, I apologize.  But I stand by paragraph two.  These threads quickly devolve into childish insults and flaming which belies the deep ambivalence and insecurity that many feel about their own choices.  People need to stop worrying about others' choices and stop seeing those choices as a condemnation of their own.  Truth be told, I really could not care less what anyone else chooses to do.  And no one here should be this emotionally invested in what OP and his DW choose to do, though it's clear some are.  And I find that sad and petty.[/quote]

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