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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. My first language is cantonese, and it is more HARDER to learn compared to Mandarin Chinese. I grew up learning it without using phonics, but just pure memorization word by word onto my brain. What you read is not what you speak, and that is the hardest part of learning cantonese which I cannot even know how to explain.

First language for my parents are not even Cantonese or Mandarin Chinese. First language for my in-laws are also not Cantonese or Mandarin Chinese. First language for my DH is English, and he does not speak or understand Cantonese. My kids find it hard to learn Mandarin Chinese, and there is no way that they can learn Cantonese. [/quote]

Sort-of Canto mom here. I feel your agony, OP. I’m a white mom that married into the culture and my reluctantly Cantonese-understanding-but-not-speaking DH refused to help with Cantonese school. The grandparents encouraged mandarin which also didn’t help. My DD was desperate to learn Cantonese so for years she did online tutoring, which was awful because I was learning it a few days ahead of her and DH didn’t want to help. It got really epic when we added a reading and writing class. Eventually she got to the point where I couldn’t help her keep up and DH forced her to quit.

DD speaks frequently of regretting quitting and it breaks my heart. I love the language and how humorous it can be but it’s really tough to learn outside of a few communities in the US.

It’s really hard to be the non-speaking mom trying to transmit or sustain a heritage language. In my experience the Cantonese community expects moms to carry the culture and heritage and can gatekeep or even be outright rude to children and mothers who don’t speak it. And my friends and I have noticed a pattern of parents of 1st gen boys “letting” the boys let the language go but expecting their daughters to carry it on, which adds a messy gender dynamic and a lot of resentment and hard feelings on all sides.[/quote]

PP, your daughter would be an excellent candidate for a study abroad program.  Encourage her to consider it someday.[/quote]

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