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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Meds are hit and miss.

Our child in hs never found one that effective.
And it seemed like they all killed their appetite to scary weight loss levels that we stopped several after a few weeks.

I like the coffee idea.

Our child though is 2e; and while 9th was extremely difficult/homebound due to a variety of mental health reasons eventually kids with just adhd find ways to to compensate as they get older.

2e kids typically implode around 8th grade or so when their disability catches up
With their high iq that let them get by.

I know it is hard now, but do not underestimate the young brain’s ability to re-wire itself with some therapy and professional help.  Drugs do work, just not for everyone.

Good luck

[/quote]

Except studies show that the re-wiring is far more likely if the adhd is treated. Looking back, I coped my whole life because I probably fit the 2e profile, and public schools had more to worry about than me being bored and falling asleep in class and having a messy desk. I never made below an A- in my life, had perfect scores on my SATII's and near perfect scores on the SAT and ACT. I won every award, played all the sports, did all the things. Graduated first in my class in law school. But I suffered and masked and suffered and masked for years, developed so much shame about what I was "hiding," and developed so many random physical ailments. My dc's ADHD was pretty clear by about age 5, and by age 9 his self-esteem was taking a nose dive. DC presented differently than I did--he wasn't "coping" (though I wouldn't recommend "coping"). Online school during Covid didn't help. And like a PP said, it was getting worse as he got older.

It took trial and error to find the right meds, yes. It became a full-time job to work with specialists and physicians and to buy time with the school, which was losing patience with his increased anxiety (tied to getting called out in school all the time for impulsivity or inattentiveness, despite having nearly perfect scores on every single quiz and test). Given the storm of things we had to unwind, it was 24/7 work for about 8 to 12 months. I won't sugarcoat it. But we were working *towards* something, not just spiraling towards a worsening of things with little measurable relief. No amount of counseling or coaching can help a child with these symptoms in the moment, at school, under conditions of social and academic pressure. The whole reality of ADHD is that the child cannot access the tools they're learning through coaching without something quieting the part of their brain that isn't stimulated to focus.

And as trial and error goes, adhd meds are about as good as it gets. You know within days whether a stimulant will work, your kid knows whether they tolerate it, and if something doesn't work, it leaves their system just as quickly.

Few here cite sources, so I'll provide one recent study here:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38409281/ (showing that ADHD medications help "normalize" brain function and increase gray matter when started early and closer to symptom onset)

My bright, amazing child was developing the very real sense that he was "bad," that he didn't fit, that he was hated. ADHD meds may or may not work for your kid. And the medicine my child takes isn't perfect. But we've had *zero* calls from school this year. He comes home happy. He gets invited to things again. He is feeling smart again. He still has to work on impulsivity. We hired an EF coach. He still has the occasional meltdown if his routine is interrupted without notice. That's hard, but manageable. He refuses to take his vitamins sometimes, but he insists on the ADHD medication. The one time he forgot it, he came to us in tears about how hard it was for him to "keep it together."

I can't tell you what choice to make, but I can offer our experience as well as reports on scientific studies that back up the medication route. [/quote]

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