Reply to 9-2 job ideas for recent widow?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule.  Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable. [/quote]

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment. [/quote]

Thank you for understanding. My kids need to be with their friends and their adult mentors, particularly their male coaches and instructors. I don’t want to isolate them at home or have them face further losses just now.[/quote]

This impulse is both understandable and arguably misguided.  Your lives have changed, pretending they have not is going to be counterproductive.  The kids need to adapt to the new reality, as do you.  Your priority should be your future financial security, not trying to completely insulate your kids from the impact of the loss you all have experienced by funding entirely optional social/sports/arts whatever activities.  Get a full-time job with benefits and develop a solid financial plan for your retirement.  That should be your highest priority, not trying to keep everything status quo ante, as nice (and as unrealistic) as that would be.  [/quote]

Are you giving this advice from the perspective of also being widowed and/or being a child of a widow, or from the perspective of being a financial advisor or accountant? I think there is a middle ground between your advice and “become homeless staying at home and keeping the kids in travel sports”. You’re addressing a balance sheet but not an entire life.[/quote]

This is advice from the perspective of one who has read far too many stories in financial fora about people unprepared financially for retirement due to a lack of foresight and planning.  Kicking the retirement can down the road doesn't work.  It takes time and discipline, not the elevation of other priorities with the thought that retirement will somehow take care of itself later.

Yes, it would be nice for the kids' lives to be as unchanged as possible, but there is a very impactful financial cost to the OP from prioritizing that over her own future.  One is "would be nice to have", the other is not really optional unless the prospect of many decades of retirement supported by little more than, or even only, Social Security sounds appealing.  [/quote]

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