Alimony is still a thing? I thought that was a thing of the past.

I am recently divorced and was shocked that with my very low earned income but large amount of alimony, I only qualify for Medicaid. Currently alimony is not taxable income and doesn't count. I double checked because I felt like I was gaming the system somehow.

So my healthcare costs are much lower than I anticipated. I was budgeting several hundred per month for a plan on the exchange. Be sure to compare this pricing to your COBRA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

OP here. I said this in my original post but it probably got lost in the details:

I don’t need the 9-2 job to have benefits. I do need it to pay
I need a job now so I can put fresh dates on a stale resume

When we get a new routine going and I can catch my breath, I can begin looking for true full-time professional work that will include healthcare.

Preschool teaching jobs are plenty,
easy to get and you get paid holidays.

The pay is terrible. Unlikely to have benefits if it’s a half day program. And for the full time preschool jobs a lot of teachers have credentials.

I don't know how old your children are but could you get some CPR training and then be a nanny or do some before and after care work? Have you looked at local libraries to see if they have any positions open?

I would definitely put out the word to your network and parents of your children's friends, even to the kid's school front office.

Anonymous wrote:Can you say what your extremely NYC specific job was? Maybe we can brainstorm something.

United Nations tour guide?
Ferry boat captain?
Electronic ticker machine clerk?
NYSE trader?
Department store window dresser?

I really want to answer ferry boat captain!

But actually in network television. Nothing similar down here and mostly phased out up there in the last few years anyway.

Pp
can also be very flexible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

OP here. I said this in my original post but it probably got lost in the details:

I don’t need the 9-2 job to have benefits. I do need it to pay
I need a job now so I can put fresh dates on a stale resume

When we get a new routine going and I can catch my breath, I can begin looking for true full-time professional work that will include healthcare.

Preschool teaching jobs are plenty,
easy to get and you get paid holidays.

Can you say what your extremely NYC specific job was? Maybe we can brainstorm something.

United Nations tour guide?
Ferry boat captain?
Electronic ticker machine clerk?
NYSE trader?
Department store window dresser?

Where are you located? Caring Transitions is a franchise and there are multiple ones in the area that always seem to be looking for part time people to work with seniors to help downsize homes and auction items. Here is an opening for the Rockville location that says part time hours are flexible from generally 10-3 but you can look on the website for other locations:
https://www.caringtransitions.com/careers

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly ending at 2, but teaching?

That’s the worst idea for a job for a recently widowed mom. It’s an extremely stressful job and the learning curve is steep.

A paraprofessional has fewer responsibilities and requires fewer qualifications. It pays less but often includes health insurance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Thank you for understanding. My kids need to be with their friends and their adult mentors, particularly their male coaches and instructors. I don’t want to isolate them at home or have them face further losses just now.

This impulse is both understandable and arguably misguided. Your lives have changed, pretending they have not is going to be counterproductive. The kids need to adapt to the new reality, as do you. Your priority should be your future financial security, not trying to completely insulate your kids from the impact of the loss you all have experienced by funding entirely optional social/sports/arts whatever activities. Get a full-time job with benefits and develop a solid financial plan for your retirement. That should be your highest priority, not trying to keep everything status quo ante, as nice (and as unrealistic) as that would be.

Are you giving this advice from the perspective of also being widowed and/or being a child of a widow, or from the perspective of being a financial advisor or accountant? I think there is a middle ground between your advice and “become homeless staying at home and keeping the kids in travel sports”. You’re addressing a balance sheet but not an entire life.

This is advice from the perspective of one who has read far too many stories in financial fora about people unprepared financially for retirement due to a lack of foresight and planning. Kicking the retirement can down the road doesn't work. It takes time and discipline, not the elevation of other priorities with the thought that retirement will somehow take care of itself later.

Yes, it would be nice for the kids' lives to be as unchanged as possible, but there is a very impactful financial cost to the OP from prioritizing that over her own future. One is "would be nice to have", the other is not really optional unless the prospect of many decades of retirement supported by little more than, or even only, Social Security sounds appealing.

Part time secretary or office manager. Any other type of part time job won’t offer a fixed schedule and there’s no reason to take a really bad job (like a para) unless it is related to the eventual career you want. Just start pounding the pavement and networking to find a local business that could use you.

I think you need to invest in a full time job and an after school nanny/driver if you can. I lost my mom at a young age and that is what my dad did. Still remember some of those babysitters fondly!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

OP here. I said this in my original post but it probably got lost in the details:

I don’t need the 9-2 job to have benefits. I do need it to pay
I need a job now so I can put fresh dates on a stale resume

When we get a new routine going and I can catch my breath, I can begin looking for true full-time professional work that will include healthcare.

In your original post you alluded to COBRA.

“ have life insurance benefits and other survivors’ benefits but the reality is that I need to rebuild my resume, pay for COBRA, and establish sufficient income to hire more help in the future. ”

COBRA is crazy expensive, but I guess as a dependent you can pay for it for 36 months.

So your assumption is that you can work a 9-2 job paying fairly well, and then transition to full time before the 3 year clock runs out.

But the job market is terrible and likely going to get worse, do you want to blow so much money on COBRA?

Or is your COBRA crazy cheap?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to give up on a 9-2 schedule. Your kids will be fine with fewer activities, carpools and/or a PT nanny. Plenty of women work full days with kids and it’s manageable.

And plenty of those women aren’t mothers of kids who just lost their father. When my husband died, my kids benefited greatly from continuing with their prior activities and schedules while they adjusted to all of the other changes such a big loss brings. OP isn’t trying to keep it the same forever, but is trying to do what’s best for her family in this particular moment.

Understood. But kids whose father died will be the first to realize that life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks. Cobra is $$$, and I can't think of any decent job offering benefits, for which a 9-2 schedule would be an option. Maybe part-time nannying, but most of those jobs aren't going to offer benefits (similar to 9-12 childcare jobs.)

Door dash, Uber, yes, are more flexible, but OP doesn't want to do that kind of work or put her car through that (understandable.)

OP here. I said this in my original post but it probably got lost in the details:

I don’t need the 9-2 job to have benefits. I do need it to pay
I need a job now so I can put fresh dates on a stale resume

When we get a new routine going and I can catch my breath, I can begin looking for true full-time professional work that will include healthcare.

In your OP, you said you needed to pay Cobra. If you get benefits, you won't need to pay Cobra (which is $$$.)