Reply to If you live in a ‘popular’ location, do you ever get asked to host people who aren’t family or direct friends but rather

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]friends of family members?

I do and it puts me in a very awkward position, especially because hosting for them is often much easier.

But my space is small, I work a lot and it is a big imposition. I don’t have a rehabbed basement I can send people to.

How do you handle? Obviously I know many snarky people will respond ‘just say no’ but I like to keep family dynamics as positive as possible. So a little nuance would help. [/quote]

It’s not snarky, you really just say no.

“Hi Aunt Jane. I’m sorry I am not able host your friends.”[/quote]

I did this once and years later I heard “you didn’t host my best friend Larla”. I was shocked that I was ‘reminded’ of this situation, because it was objectively a very inopportune moment: life wise and logistic wise.

I still have no regret for saying ’no’, because it was the right decision for me, and I’d have made the same decision over and over, but you need to plan for some resentment from your family member.

I have asked an acquaintance to host me, and they did, but I regretted asking (not because of how they hosted me - I just realized how full their schedules were and that I inconvenienced them). I have always gotten a hotel since then, no matter how close I am to the person in the other town.

[/quote]

I hope you rolled your eyes and walked away from Aunt Jane. I don't understand people who allow themselves to be berated by family members for something like this. Seriously, WALK AWAY. Or hang up the phone. Or delete the text and don't respond. Why do you let people treat you like this? And no, "because they're family" is not the answer. I am sad that my kids have crappy grandparents on my husband's side but I'm also glad that they've learned early on that no one gets to treat you poorly, even if you are related to them. [/quote]

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