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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What would I do?  I would try to repair the relationship with my son.  He will never forget that he was kicked out.  Your husband kicks him out when he doesn't have a job and how is he supposed to pay rent?  Your father is in charge now, and he can do whatever he wants and is calling the shots. I had a high paying job that made me miserable, and I quit.  Your son may have just needed some time to regroup after a stressful time.  People can give you the tough love speech, but they didn't lose two years of their lives to Covid which left many of these kids making up for lost time, socially and developmentally.  It's hard/impossible to give your son any advice or guidance now that he's not under the same roof and your husband has caused some damage in your relationship.  I think he's a young man trying to find his way and many kids his age are taking gap years.  Rather than telling him what he should be doing, how about listening to him?  Maybe he would have gotten bored, maybe an opportunity would have come along, etc.  How does your husband feel now that your son is gone?  I'm sorry this happened and hope your relationship can be repaired sooner rather than later.  If you were estranged from your father, he must be having some interesting conversations with your son.  Where did your husband think your son was going to go after being kicked out?  [/quote]

My dad didn't let us move back home after college graduation.  We had 100% of the school costs covered, including professional school and a car, but after graduation, we were on our own, and moving home was not an option. He was very clear about this from the time I was a young teen: "I pay for school, you figure out the rest." I have a close relationship with him, as do my siblings.  We all had jobs or graduate school lined up well before graduation.  None of us begrudge him; rather, we regularly tell him how grateful we are to make it through school with no student loan debt.   Maybe the difference is that my dad had very firm boundaries around cutting off support after graduation, so it wasn't like he pulled a rug out from under us. We were able to plan.  [/quote]

This. Your dad’s the man!!! 
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