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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I think the two days a week is a good idea, but I would firmly tell her that you could use her help if she is willing to do tasks that you need done and to come over early so your teens can have their living space to study or relax after dinner.  And she and your dad can eat dinner with you.

Give her a choice if tasks that would be helpful to you, but not overtly exerting.  If she would enjoy coming to cook dinner one night a week 
And even cleanup thst would be might work for all.  Other things might be to help with laundry and vacuum and dust areas not intrusive to your privacy such as family room, living dining room, sunroom or office.

You need to set the tone as your folks are not building connections in your area while they are healthy.  Your mom will only become more reliant and demanding as she ages if you do not set the tone now. 
[/quote]

We do have her cook one night. I am going to try to see if she would do the 2 nights. I noticed that they are less likely to come if it is very cold or bad weather, so I'm hoping for some snow. Part of me also feels guilty because I helped them move here so I feel like its my responsibility to put up with them. I don't let her yell at my kids, when she has I have told her its time for her to go home because shes causing problems (but this usually causes her to get irate because she thinks its disrespectful.) The worst arguments happened when I was not at home and she argues with my middle child but after the second occurrence, I no longer allow her home alone with her.[/quote]

I would have had it out with her a long time ago, and I would certainly not have helped them move so close. I don't care at all about being "disrespectful" to my parents, OP, if my own parent starts being abusive first. I am not a doormat.

Personally, I think your attitude is a big part of the problem. You should have been a lot firmer years ago. Not too late (and no, you don't care that they moved closer. They can stay in their home without visiting yours).[/quote]

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