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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have never regretted it. I had hard evidence, and I gave him a chance to redeem himself in therapy, but it became very clear that he was lying in therapy, had no real understanding of the impact of his actions on others and little capacity or interest in change. So, I was able to stop falling for his gaslighting and kick him out. That allowed me to move forward without any regret in the sense of wondering if I had done something different maybe we would have come through it.

I have never looked back and wished I hadn’t kicked him out - not for myself and not for my kids. Not when I was alone (i.e. not in another relationship), not when I feared only seeing the kids 50% (of course, he did not want  any custody), not when the kids were sad at not having a present dad (he wasn’t present when we were together), and not when I endured financial hardship (his character as revealed by the infidelity ensured that it was also a financial risk to stay together), and especially not when they were older and  became entangled in their own abusive relationships (when I could authentically say to them no relationship is worth enduring abuse).

Both kids are wonderful, each has lasting scars from their dad, but they have grown beyond that.

The regret picking him for a father, not vetting my relationships hall of them prior to kids) more explicitly for marriage, household and parenting compatibility (beyond just the guy’s claims). But, OFC, I don’t regret having my kids.

I also regret not moving more quickly after our split to parallel parenting, not sticking strictly to custody terms and not providing him so much flexibility, not grey-rocking and just generally treating him like a rational person who wanted to be a good parent but didn’t know how for a variety of reasons.

I also regret not pushing for more equitable financial responsibility on medical, extra-curricular, and college. I wish I had taken him to court when he paid less than was fair. I thought settling things amicably between us would be easier, but in the end it just made me more vulnerable in a variety of ways.

But, I will never regret dumping him - best thing I did for myself and the kids.n[/quote]
My gosh. You divorced ladies have waaay too much time on your hands. You need an editor too. You could have said this in one freaking paragraph. Lonely much?[/quote]

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