Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous]Don’t waste the pretty on this nonsense. Break up and look for someone more compatible.

My sister has been married to someone 15 years older since she was in her early thirties. It has been good, but I think that is because neither  of them had kids before and they did not want children together. That said, she has still need shocked by the early need to do elder care for his parents. He is now 60 and lost his job, which he likely will never replace and she has years and years that she still needs to work. I don’t know how this will go for them.

Let’s pretend you have kids at age 32 and 34. You will be menopausal with teenagers at home and a husband to do eldercare for. That will be a beast for you. You will be exhausted, have brain fog and three humans relying on you for a lot of support. College applications while he could need you to drive him everywhere. You will lose your filter with your hormonal shifts and will tell him exactly what you think. Good luck with that. And I say this as a woman with a husband 7 years older. He was 45 when we had our last child. We are pretty tired with a 16 and 13 year old. You also have a MUCH higher rate of certain disabilities with an older dad. So, be ready for your kids to have autism and ADHD.[/quote]

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