Reply to Do men ever change?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Do men ever change? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I think it’s more helpful to consider exactly how he is now and decide if you want to stay or divorce.

The positive side of this is that you are in control of your own behavior. So for example, if it’s hurtful that he spends zero effort on your birthday, then think about if you would feel better if you matched that energy. You could invest that effort on relationships with friends who actually appreciate and reciprocate your efforts.

I did something similar. I also have young kids and I decided that the things that were wrong in the marriage were not worth getting divorced over.

Effort and gifts was also an area that hurt my feelings. For me, emotionally, I decided that we needed to stop gifts to each other altogether. No Christmas presents, stockings, birthday gifts. That way I wouldn’t set myself up to be disappointed when he failed, and I also wouldn’t put in so much effort with no appreciation in return. There were lots of things like that I needed to adjust, and it worked for the most part.

I wouldn’t say my marriage is great. It’s not. 
But I no longer feel resentful and I’m much more at peace with my relationship. I can laugh and enjoy his company when we’re out with the kids or sharing a meal at home. I look at everything through the lens of “is it worth divorcing over?” And if the answer is no, then I think about an accommodation to make it more palatable. Maybe when the kids are out of the house, I’ll reevaluate but for now I’m happy with my decision. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics