Reply to Is it normal for siblings to be hyper jealous of you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So she didn't say anything negative, just had a look on her face?[/quote]

she did not say anything negative, but the look on the face says it all, it's like she was trying very hard to pretend to be happy for me.[/quote]

So…you are basing this on a look on her face only? Do I have that right?[/quote]

Yes for the nth time. It’s her sister. You live with someone for 18 years you know what a face means unless you are a complete egghead [/quote]

Yep. A face, a pause, a particular tone ... these "you can tell just by her FACE?!" responses are either disingenuous or oblivious. My sister and I have 40+ years of history, I know exactly when she's taking a jab at me, making an actual joke or not-really-a-joke, or trying to hide jealousy.

Siblings are often competitive, OP. That doesn't necessarily change when you're an adult. Heck, adults in general are competitive/jealous about all kinds of material things, including (maybe especially!) houses! People are acting like *gasp* that never happens and it's on YOU if you notice it. Give me a break.

The difference, IMO, is in how people handle their reaction as adults. Some people can truly be happy about someone else's success/having luck/having nice things, some people just fundamentally respond negatively and are better or worse at hiding that. When we moved into our current house, we had some friends who were surprised/taken aback by how much nicer it was than the house we had during most of the time they had known us. But they made it a whoa-but-good-for-you kind of thing. I have a SIL who is definitely the type to "keep score" on things like how nice family members' houses are, cars, etc. -- but she also manages to (mostly) keep her comments in the realm of nosiness (not nastiness) and can always find something nice to say. You just hear a lot more of the nice things if the thing is nicer, lol. The extended family knows about her competitive streak, smiles/nods and changes the subject rather than leaning into it.

My sister is the opposite. When she considers something I have "lesser," or doesn't care about it, she gushes. If she considers the thing/experience nicer than what she has available, responding positively sticks in her craw -- and it is noticeable in her face/reaction/tone. I've seen this play out in various conversations about a lot of people/situations over the years, not just in regards to myself/our relationship. She usually manages to get a polite response out in the moment, the conversation moves on; her reaction doesn't need to be a big thing or even something we talk about. But I do know what it means, and sometimes as a result I tiptoe around certain topics, don't mention things, or downplay things before she can. Fun family dynamics!

Though I will say that IMO "hyper jealous" from one incident seems a bit strong, to me it would take repeated incidents and keeping-up-with-the-Joneses type of actions to reach that level. But that's me. [/quote]

Agree with this PP.  Thank you for the nuanced response, not the immediate judgment like other PP’s. [/quote]

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