Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is the first your sister was hearing about this house then you aren't very close. It takes a long time to custom build and people ask for updates along the way. You wanted to have some big reveal meaning you haven't talked to her much in the years leading up to this moment. A normal sibling relationship would have included discussing the house previously. You got a huge kick out of this whole thing, clearly. You got the reaction you wanted.

Really? My brother and I both built our houses. We live in different states and no one was asking for updates. We just saw each other’s new homes during routinely planned visits.

Anonymous wrote:If this is the first your sister was hearing about this house then you aren't very close. It takes a long time to custom build and people ask for updates along the way. You wanted to have some big reveal meaning you haven't talked to her much in the years leading up to this moment. A normal sibling relationship would have included discussing the house previously. You got a huge kick out of this whole thing, clearly. You got the reaction you wanted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy. I can’t help but think they hit too close to home for jealous people.
My siblings are very jealous of me. The OP is talking about financial wealth but I am talking about the wealth of creating a loving family which is a not something we grew up with and something that they were not successful in doing. All of my siblings have greater financial wealth but they are in miserable marriages and have miserable kids. There is nothing I can do to change this. Neither can the OP.

what do you mean by “miserable kids”?

NP
However, both of my siblings have miserable kids despite having everything they want in life

Their adult kids -
Won’t launch
Still at home
Stepper adult kids - who won’t move out their big beautiful home
Kids outta wedlock
Baby momma - daddy issues w that
Cars - they keep crashing
Constantly digging into their $ to bail them out.

You follow ?

Sounds like they were from broken homes. Not exactly ideal or "having everything".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she didn't say anything negative, just had a look on her face?

she did not say anything negative, but the look on the face says it all, it's like she was trying very hard to pretend to be happy for me.

So…you are basing this on a look on her face only? Do I have that right?

Yes for the nth time. It’s her sister. You live with someone for 18 years you know what a face means unless you are a complete egghead

Yep. A face, a pause, a particular tone ... these "you can tell just by her FACE?!" responses are either disingenuous or oblivious. My sister and I have 40+ years of history, I know exactly when she's taking a jab at me, making an actual joke or not-really-a-joke, or trying to hide jealousy.

Siblings are often competitive, OP. That doesn't necessarily change when you're an adult. Heck, adults in general are competitive/jealous about all kinds of material things, including (maybe especially!) houses! People are acting like *gasp* that never happens and it's on YOU if you notice it. Give me a break.

The difference, IMO, is in how people handle their reaction as adults. Some people can truly be happy about someone else's success/having luck/having nice things, some people just fundamentally respond negatively and are better or worse at hiding that. When we moved into our current house, we had some friends who were surprised/taken aback by how much nicer it was than the house we had during most of the time they had known us. But they made it a whoa-but-good-for-you kind of thing. I have a SIL who is definitely the type to "keep score" on things like how nice family members' houses are, cars, etc. -- but she also manages to (mostly) keep her comments in the realm of nosiness (not nastiness) and can always find something nice to say. You just hear a lot more of the nice things if the thing is nicer, lol. The extended family knows about her competitive streak, smiles/nods and changes the subject rather than leaning into it.

My sister is the opposite. When she considers something I have "lesser," or doesn't care about it, she gushes. If she considers the thing/experience nicer than what she has available, responding positively sticks in her craw -- and it is noticeable in her face/reaction/tone. I've seen this play out in various conversations about a lot of people/situations over the years, not just in regards to myself/our relationship. She usually manages to get a polite response out in the moment, the conversation moves on; her reaction doesn't need to be a big thing or even something we talk about. But I do know what it means, and sometimes as a result I tiptoe around certain topics, don't mention things, or downplay things before she can. Fun family dynamics!

Though I will say that IMO "hyper jealous" from one incident seems a bit strong, to me it would take repeated incidents and keeping-up-with-the-Joneses type of actions to reach that level. But that's me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy. I can’t help but think they hit too close to home for jealous people.
My siblings are very jealous of me. The OP is talking about financial wealth but I am talking about the wealth of creating a loving family which is a not something we grew up with and something that they were not successful in doing. All of my siblings have greater financial wealth but they are in miserable marriages and have miserable kids. There is nothing I can do to change this. Neither can the OP.

what do you mean by “miserable kids”?

NP
However, both of my siblings have miserable kids despite having everything they want in life

Their adult kids -
Won’t launch
Still at home
Stepper adult kids - who won’t move out their big beautiful home
Kids outta wedlock
Baby momma - daddy issues w that
Cars - they keep crashing
Constantly digging into their $ to bail them out.

You follow ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy. I can’t help but think they hit too close to home for jealous people.
My siblings are very jealous of me. The OP is talking about financial wealth but I am talking about the wealth of creating a loving family which is a not something we grew up with and something that they were not successful in doing. All of my siblings have greater financial wealth but they are in miserable marriages and have miserable kids. There is nothing I can do to change this. Neither can the OP.

what do you mean by “miserable kids”?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy. I can’t help but think they hit too close to home for jealous people.
My siblings are very jealous of me. The OP is talking about financial wealth but I am talking about the wealth of creating a loving family which is a not something we grew up with and something that they were not successful in doing. All of my siblings have greater financial wealth but they are in miserable marriages and have miserable kids. There is nothing I can do to change this. Neither can the OP.

what do you mean by “miserable kids”?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she didn't say anything negative, just had a look on her face?

she did not say anything negative, but the look on the face says it all, it's like she was trying very hard to pretend to be happy for me.

So…you are basing this on a look on her face only? Do I have that right?

Yes for the nth time. It’s her sister. You live with someone for 18 years you know what a face means unless you are a complete egghead

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy. I can’t help but think they hit too close to home for jealous people.
My siblings are very jealous of me. The OP is talking about financial wealth but I am talking about the wealth of creating a loving family which is a not something we grew up with and something that they were not successful in doing. All of my siblings have greater financial wealth but they are in miserable marriages and have miserable kids. There is nothing I can do to change this. Neither can the OP.

Anonymous wrote:From what you had to say, it's impossible to know what your sister thinks about you and your house.

I'm guessing from what you wrote that you wanted her to be surprised that you stealthily saved money and hoped that she would be impressed with your house.