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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Word of caution op- my sister has done this for years with her now 20 year old.  My niece was completely unprepared to hear any sort of constructive criticism from her college professors and employers.  She always says they are unfair because she is used to the BT style you use.[/quote]
NP here.  This could be because in DBT, validation is only the first step.  Step two is learning a coping skill.  The goal isn't only for the teen to feel safe and secure.  It's for the teen to feel safe and secure enough that they can learn a skill or change a habit.

It would be interesting to turn validation back around to your niece's constructive criticism problem.  "It must have been hard when you did your best and was proud of your work, and then an adult in authority told you that there was a better way to do it."  Or, "it must have been such a surprise to hear that advice, I would hate being caught off guard like that when I thought I was crushing it."  Etc.  Next step, unpack that.  The skill would be, how to take, appreciate, and make the most of constructive criticism.[/quote]

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