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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Father in law just visited us. Mother in law is not in the picture. He never once asked any of us how we are doing and barely spoke to my daughter. He only monologued about his successful business career and retirement. He has plenty of money. He never even offered to pay or help us with meals. He left yesterday and literally cleaned out our fridge, taking a bunch of fruit and sodas. I am so frustrated.  I got a text thank you. That’s it. I never want to see that awful man again. [/quote]

I never understand these posts. Why didn't YOU control things? "Oh Bob, that fruit is actually for Haley's lunches this week. I can give you a banana for the plane if you want." "Wow, I'm glad you're enjoying your retirement. Listen to what Haley's presentation is about next week - she can practice it for you!" "We're having stir fry tonight to use up the remaining vegetables before they go bad. I know you mentioned wanting to go out to a steakhouse, but that's just not in our budget. Don't worry - Brian's stirfry is very flavorful!" [/quote]

He stole all that food when we had left the house. It’s explained above. When I returned I saw what he had done. We did what you suggested and he would half heartedly speak to the kids and then say he had to “check his email”. We did actually say things like “sure we would love to go to xyc pricey restaurant but remember how we were furloughed?”  Also note that I did not say “help yourself” once since I know his gluttonous nature. Instead when he’d insist on a long list of good items to be purchased for him I would say we are on a tight budget, can we substitute berries for apples?  Btw his answer was no [/quote]

You need to learn to communicate better. You don't ASK if you can substitute when you can't afford. You TELL. "We can't afford those berries so we got you apples." "I know you want caviar and Grey Poupon but we were furloughed and can't afford things like that." Use your words. [/quote]

Ok would you literally TELL your father in law you’re gonna pay for dinner this time? Because I genuinely thought about it but felt it would be too rude. My daughter initially picked out a pricey entre at dinner and I said “that’s pretty expensive considering we were just furloughed”. Father in law definitely listened and ordered the second most expensive thing on the menu but didn’t insist on getting his usual appetizer and extra side and dessert. But he still did not offer to pay. [/quote]

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