Reply to Am I out of line? Refusing to host ILs for Xmas?

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[quote=Anonymous]MILs can be so weird. Mine spent years coming to my house and trying to stir up trouble between DH and me, create a narrative that I was a bad hostess (would always insist on staying in a room that had not been prepared for a guest so that she could gossip about how that spot was filthy or something (think basement or attic instead of guest room), and would bring a cooler of food like apples and other stuff I regularly had stocked to support the narrative that I had nothing to eat), and would spend the week telling me how to be a better wife by cooking more steak or whatever she thought would be most beneficial to her son.

I finally explained to DH that I had gone into the relationship with good intentions and she was intent on making me the enemy and herself the victim. He noticed it, too, and started noticing the other ways she was manipulating him.

We just kind of stopped inviting her to visit and she makes no effort to come. She makes very little effort with the grandkids. I think she was only coming for the chaos she was creating. She does manage to throw a fit every year when we go to DH's father's house for Xmas--not because she wants to host/visit/spend the holidays together--just because she enjoys the victim narrative and the chaos.

Why are these MILs behaving like jerks and then just thinking everyone is going to keep engaging with them and hosting them? Insane.

I would leave town for Xmas and tell her you will be thinking of her as you enjoy a pina colada. [/quote]

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