Reply to Some take it or leave it reflections on eldercare, 18 months in

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[quote=Anonymous]IMO, people should read your advice and then leave it. It's your experience and yours alone.

Everyone's experience is going to be different. There are as many different scenarios as there are people on the planet.

What I do find concerning is the underlying thread of intolerance and annoyance at caring for one's "loved" ones. I have done care for both parents and a sibling and would never think nor express the kind of vitriol I often see posted on elder care issues. But that's my experience and it's different than OPs.

Phrases like living "past their time" is an example. I am not a religious person but who are any of us to say when another person's "time" is? That they shouldn't be given standard medications for common health issues (statins, BP medications)? Aren't there people in their 30s who are on BP meds? So I guess you should not start on them, or is there a specific age the prescription should be stopped? Of course not, because it's not rational.

If there is some cosmic timeline or physical condition that determines someone needs to get put on the ice floe?

What about younger people who are paralyzed from an accident? Or have a debilitating disease? Not everyone in full-time care facilities are elderly. Should those people in their 30s or 40s fall under the same criteria? The burdens of caring for them are the same as the elderly.

FWIW, I've also known 2 people who have chosen euthanasia (living in a foreign country) and that has its trauma and effects on the family and loved ones, too.

Essentially, we as a county/culture need to revisit elder care and expand the options. Things like adult day care. But unless and until people start seeing the elderly as equal human beings, it won't happen.

The general attitude (at least here on DCUM) is to eliminate any resources, time or energy spent on people who supposedly no longer have any value.

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