Reply to Would you allow your child to marry or date outside your culture or religion?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the biggest struggles I've seen was when a first gen kid married a person nominally of their culture and religion, but the person was a recent immigrant and was much more modern about it. The parents had kind of kept their culture of origin the same, like it was at their time of immigration in the 1970s, and much of their peer group had too. But the place of origin itself had not stayed the same, so the new wife wasn't doing their version of the culture. Very weird dynamic because they thought it would work well but it really didn't. [/quote]
This exactly.

We came here in 1972.  My parents culture is stuck in 1972.  It has taken the 30+ years to accept that times have changed.

I married outside my race, but initially my dad told me that he'd disown me if I did when I was 18.   At 30, he was desperate for me to marry, so he became accepting of my new BF (now DH).  As long as he had a good job and wasn't abusive, drank too much, my dad was accepting.

And now, they think he's great.  Married 20+years.

My aunt also married outside our race, and she was disowned by her mother.  That relationship was never mended.

Obviously, my kids are biracial, and I don't really care whom they marry but I don't want them to marry into a too conservative or too liberal family.  I'd want them to marry someone with similar values. Hopefully, we have instilled those values in our kids, and they will seek a partner with those similar values.[/quote]

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